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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
06-05-05, 07:36 AM
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#1
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Odi et Amo
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Prison State of Mind
IP: AFB0 5C2F
Prison State of Mind
. . . Curtains closed, lights dimmed, some faintly flickering candles Escaping satirical scandals, how malignant media mishandles Empty notepad as my words freely float around in atmosphere Blocked by brainwashing remarks of sharks eager to profiteer Of my thorough talent but unaware they’re destroying my skills Terrified to tell the torturing threats filling me as I utter soft shrills . . . Silently sitting still, awaiting for creativity to finally fall upon me But my mind dares not to free its power, so caged by boundary For they will steal my genius ideas like a mere thief in the night And so I refuse to ignite my ability to write as an undivided right I gradually gaze around me to see piranhas creepily closing in Put myself in mental prison, paranoia as my sweet, chosen sin For I feel bold beast’s breathe in my neck, desiring my demise All alone without any allies, craving for the moon’s dun disguise No one on eerie earth is worth my trust, guided by luscious lust Merely money as must, blinded by wealth which wakes disgust Trapped in careful consciousness that limits my sole potential Cannot shout out loud, gone is freedom as good life’s essential . . . Fluorescent lights shining down on me, no more pen nor pad Ghosts dressed in white coats staring, whispering: “how sad When you think about talent she had, artists always go mental They are lived by society until their fame turns too detrimental Getting locked up inside a fantasy world they came to create Example of mental clinic’s bait for it’s an artist’s inevitable fate” Links: King Solo - CALI diss OSB n Drakel - The Storm
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Authentik Intelligence  ...The future is mine... |
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06-05-05, 01:42 PM
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#2
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Odi et Amo
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IP: AFB0 5C2F
Bumpity Bump Bump
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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06-06-05, 12:13 PM
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#3
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Odi et Amo
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IP: 1AD2 C386
No one feeding?
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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06-06-05, 02:11 PM
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#4
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New to RV
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IP: ECB3 36A0
I like it if it's a poem but if it's a rap it has no flow.
But I'm gonna assume it's a poem and I must say great use of the creative techniques. Metas galore, alliteration, similies, the worx. Interesting mixed up rhymeing scheme I'm guessing this is 2 mirror the persona's mixed up state of mind. Very clever and creative - O and also with the different stanza lengths, nice. Btw Queen did u used 2 post on collosal minds?
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~Wrekless You know the rappers these days that snap then breeze ways// In the opposite direction of the gat that he says// He'll cap, if you aint on in don't say you are// before someone engraves a scar on your inflated arse// Site Record- Wins:0 Losses:0 |
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06-06-05, 02:33 PM
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#5
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Odi et Amo
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IP: C9A2 1C80
^Nope, haven't been on collosal minds
 Thanks for feed btw, was going for the more poetic vibe indeed 
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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06-06-05, 02:37 PM
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#6
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Champion
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IP: A342 417C
I gradually gaze around me to see piranhas creepily closing in
Put myself in mental prison, paranoia as my sweet, chosen sin For I feel bold beast’s breathe in my neck, desiring my demise All alone without any allies, craving for the moon’s dun disguise This was a hot drop ma....deep shit....Im feelin this. I give it 8.5/10, you real deep. Sentence Structure was on top, imagery was the maint feel IMO....cant be mad at this....holla at my new OM....."let loose" link in sig....
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www.soundclick.com/dollaback
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06-06-05, 04:36 PM
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#7
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Odi et Amo
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IP: C9A2 1C80
^Thanks for feed, much appreciated
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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06-07-05, 11:29 AM
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#8
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Odi et Amo
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IP: 20F2 FA9C
Bumpin this shizzle all the way to the very top
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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06-07-05, 05:36 PM
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#9
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Banned: For Being So Fly.....lol....my new account is Triple Sixes....
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IP: 473F 6D42
Quote:
ok this was way good liked the whole concept the vocabulary was way outstandin and especially the words that u used to describe everythin made me feel a picture in my mind that is very good not alot of ppl can do that this is a very outstandin piece and the lines above i thought were the best in the piece it felt very deep so good job on this piece keep doin what u doin good job
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  STARTING 2MORROW I WILL BE TRIPLE SIXES THATS GON BE MY NEW ACCOUNT SO THATS ME AIGHT CUZ IM SO FLY......LOL |
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06-07-05, 05:55 PM
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#10
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£ivin a £yfe of Çrhyme
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IP: 0EF5 2547
What can I say? Very deep shit, I liked it a lot. Very creative with your imagery and good vocab...this had it all. You should do the poem shit on the site or topical battles you seem like you'd be real good on those
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06-08-05, 12:41 PM
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#11
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Odi et Amo
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IP: 1AD2 C386
^Hehe, thanks I already do all of that
Feed is much appreciated, I'll RTF as soon as I can (bit caught up in my exams)
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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06-08-05, 07:09 PM
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#12
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Lyrics Put MCs On Atkin's Diet!
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IP: 7DBF 6077
Loved This Shit Ma....Could Feel What You Was Sayin Shit Was Real Deep....Openin Lines Had Me Hooked So I Had 2 Read Tha Whole Thing....10/10
Check Mines Wheneva...
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C.S!....Crhyme Sindicate   Quote:
"Y's My Record 9-6?...Cuz I Battle Competition!" |
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06-09-05, 07:44 AM
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#13
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Odi et Amo
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IP: B005 97A4
^Will do, y'all gotta gimme some time though cause I'm so caught up in these exams ya kno...
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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06-23-05, 11:41 AM
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#14
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Odi et Amo
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IP: 1AD2 C386
Aight, uppin this once again, I'll RTF if you drop the links
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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