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Old 06-23-05, 04:22 AM   #11
femmina
New to RV
 
Posts: 67
From: new britain, connecticut
IP:

flow was good, the thoughts were original and easy to connect to, it was enjoyable to read, and multis are straight. Try to up the complexity of the wordplay and metas, vocab was decent. Other than that, try to avoid using the samee word so closely together (i.e. "why is it hard to see that obviously the lottery is smarter than we
theres kids starvin at 3, play the lottery, how hard could it be") and try rephrasing some of your thoughts like "but they dont realize that the nation is only tryin to rape them" i understand that your getting at they are forcing us to give up our money, but a better phrase can be used than rape. It's played a lot, too. Overall, I thought you did a good job. I would rate it a 6/10.

Please return the favor, i have the ones in my sig and a new one titled "untitled (soon to be audio)" thank you and i hope i was helpful.
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