first off, the bars were uneven which took off from the structure and flow. vocab wasn't anything special, just average talking. wordplay and metas were also lacking. it was more like a letter than a verse, actually. On the positive side, you had some decent visuals and phrases. But definately work on your structure and becoming more clever with your words. for example, instead of "Adrenaline pumping, arteries thumping
I feel my pulse in my brain, telling me this is
freaking insane."
you could put something like
"All the adrenaline is pumping
While my arteries are thumping
I can feel the pulse in my brain
All telling me this is freaking insane."
see how just switching up the words and adding a few little ones can better the flow? Just work more on switching your words around to better the flow and try not to make everything so direct. have fun and play with your words. keep it up
and return the favor at either one of the drops in my signature. thank you.