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Old 06-25-05, 12:17 AM   #1
2Fast2Furious
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Posts: 249
Joined: Jun 2005
From: Bootheel Missouri
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Talking Betta Girl Can't

IP: 0DB3 4A20

Adrenaline pumping, arteries thumping
I feel my pulse in my brain, telling me this is
freaking insane.
What the freak are you doing, I hear in my lobe.
As I push the rev-meter pass the red zone
Accelerator screaming, like you will even see me
Going so fast you can’t catch up, like your rhymes
you won’t fess up.
Better throw in your pink slip because you are mine.
I can take you on anytime. If not my words then
my mind, fists, cars, bars, guns, tell me we’ll settle this
one for all time.

Gonna let you know what panic feels like
when you feel in your bones and your knuckles go white
when you go on yourself and you feel a little leak
that’s the side effects of my speech.
Double vision invading ur system, like a
venom getting all twisted
Stomach in knots, your thoughts be shifted
like the gears on my car, but yours in reverse
cause all you can do is step back and
rehearse rehearse rehearse.
Won’t stop till you drop, till I see your
eyes pop, till I see your nose bleed,
then I’ll know that’s enough speed.

First hit, second hit, third hit, bam, your on the floor,
beat by a woman.
Tell it like it is, don’t sugar coat it, I ain’t even armed
I didn’t even ignore it.
You can’t take the heat, the speed or the whooping
So don’t start talking like you got some cushion or something.
This reputation I got isn’t gonna be breaking, just yours is going
to be mine for the taking.
Tonight we’re gonna see, what men are made of.
What they can handle and what their afraid of.
Dishing out as good as its given, I can’t help it
if I’m a woman.

Gonna let you know what panic feels like
when you feel in your bones and your knuckles go white
when you go on yourself and you feel a little leak
that’s the side effects of my speech.
Double vision invading ur system, like a
venom getting all twisted
Stomach in knots, your thoughts be shifted
like the gears on my car, but yours in reverse
cause all you can do is step back and
rehearse rehearse rehearse.
Won’t stop till you drop, till I see your
eyes pop, till I see your nose bleed,
then I’ll know that’s enough speed.

Always talking bout how “bad” you are, well keep tellin yourself
that here in my car.
You want to kick my ass? Well lets just step outside, I’ll show you
what it is to fight, outside and wide eyed.
You want it ground you want it fair, you want it dirty you want
to skip out player?
Cause I’m going to win, no matter what, I will no cheat, like you
wearing that cup.
Listen to me dissin ya, sorry but I’m missing ya, all the speed,
all the greed, your hungry needs be wishing ya were in bed
cuz your head, be hurting from all the intake of abuse and
mistakes.
Pop that back, crack them knuckles, get ready...
Oop your knees just buckled.
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Old 06-25-05, 12:19 AM   #2
Illumatic
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this sucked... elevate on absolutly everything in the book... it sounds like a really bad ja rule song...
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Old 06-25-05, 12:23 AM   #3
Christianite
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this was pretty good, vocab was decent...structure was ok, could have been better, keep it up babe
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for your rhyme and the way you made words connect,
not the money that you made or the girls you sexed,
a concept you obviously haven't heard of yet
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Old 06-25-05, 12:24 AM   #4
2Fast2Furious
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Posts: 249
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From: Bootheel Missouri
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IP: 0DB3 4A20

Well thanks alot guys. :S
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3 nails + 1 cross = 4given
No matter how good you are there's always someone better.
I'm not the status quo stereotype you want me to be.
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Old 06-26-05, 12:21 AM   #5
femmina
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From: new britain, connecticut
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IP: 074B 22E7

first off, the bars were uneven which took off from the structure and flow. vocab wasn't anything special, just average talking. wordplay and metas were also lacking. it was more like a letter than a verse, actually. On the positive side, you had some decent visuals and phrases. But definately work on your structure and becoming more clever with your words. for example, instead of "Adrenaline pumping, arteries thumping
I feel my pulse in my brain, telling me this is
freaking insane."
you could put something like
"All the adrenaline is pumping
While my arteries are thumping
I can feel the pulse in my brain
All telling me this is freaking insane."
see how just switching up the words and adding a few little ones can better the flow? Just work more on switching your words around to better the flow and try not to make everything so direct. have fun and play with your words. keep it up and return the favor at either one of the drops in my signature. thank you.
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Old 06-26-05, 03:44 AM   #6
UNF
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Good Drop Man Pretty Decent Shits, Man Vocab Was Cool Structure Was Iffy, Emotion Deep Shits nice
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