b4 it gets closed...

well...the structure was quite off on my part...dont separate ur lines do that to ur verses instead cos it would take off the flow feel me?...your rhymin scheme was ok..but b carefull it could seem unrhymed to lots of readers...the scheme u used woulda been iight for an audio sis..but its ur choice...try usin one for one verse and another style for another verse...u get me?...it would give ur piece a multi color..but ur topic was iight yo...keep it up

holla at mine (sig)

one

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