Experiencing willpower of a whole other level
Self control trying to refuse the Devil.

Emanating God and erasing out my dirty laundry
Trying to stamp out all the amosity the world has to
offer, trying to show people the right way to proffer.

No more generosity now just straight up hypocrisy wow,
did we know just notice the world going hay-wire or
are getting so bad that its time to pack the Mayflower

Guilt ridden for all the things I’ve done, riddled with
semi-auto holes from an imaginary gun.
Everything is wicked underneath the Sun.

Learning from mistakes and sin’s my body’s tainted,
trying to wipe off again and make something
really beautiful painted.

Building bridges that seemed uncross able, building
dwellings for my new life possible.

Encasing my soul in a Spirit so divine, I feel let down
when I say something I shouldn’t my first time

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Sig Provided by: Christianite

3 nails + 1 cross = 4given
No matter how good you are there's always someone better.
I'm not the status quo stereotype you want me to be.

this was good, flowed well, nice topic as always, vocab was pretty good, keep it up girl

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Yes, lest not forget I am a female, thanks for that imput, as well as the others C-nite.

__________________


Sig Provided by: Christianite

3 nails + 1 cross = 4given
No matter how good you are there's always someone better.
I'm not the status quo stereotype you want me to be.

__________________

b4 it gets closed...

well...the structure was quite off on my part...dont separate ur lines do that to ur verses instead cos it would take off the flow feel me?...your rhymin scheme was ok..but b carefull it could seem unrhymed to lots of readers...the scheme u used woulda been iight for an audio sis..but its ur choice...try usin one for one verse and another style for another verse...u get me?...it would give ur piece a multi color..but ur topic was iight yo...keep it up

holla at mine (sig)

one

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http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2374080 my link, thanks for the feedback..yvonne, i seperate cuz ppl couldn't figure out my structure, so i simplified I guess in doing that I screwed up. But anyways, thanks.

__________________


Sig Provided by: Christianite

3 nails + 1 cross = 4given
No matter how good you are there's always someone better.
I'm not the status quo stereotype you want me to be.

ok good piece overall, but ur structure needs work girl.....work on that iight other than that keep postin and ull be fine 1

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A LIFE OF CHRYME

thanks man, uppin

__________________


Sig Provided by: Christianite

3 nails + 1 cross = 4given
No matter how good you are there's always someone better.
I'm not the status quo stereotype you want me to be.