Voted For: Vaskez
Fat bastard wanted lunch before he checked in to post his verse
I'd smack his chin, but gotta figure out which one to hit first
^^did he ever post his pic?..if so..post it..if not..fake personal..3/10
I'ma make this bitch hurt, quick to diss flabby gits after checkin
Started writing when I saw Wayne in...at 300 pounds was this cretin
^^fat jokes again...just cuz he said he gotta go to lunch isn't proof that he's fat..3/10
Never met 'im, but we expect Wayne to drop wack in confrontations
Dumbass has "stand up" in his location...
............................but still falls short of expectations
^^stand up/fall short lines are played..2/10
Battle has many connotations, for me, there's only the win to gain
And if I was facing the loss........I'd just turn my back on Wayne
^^OK..ur best lines so far...4/10
Ya got no game and like to capitalise your rhymes like a beginner
While I just capitalise on your wackness to emerge as the winner
^^not much of a punch..self glorifing..1/10
Even in 'er, ya girl says all she ever sees is you shrinking, shame
Even the dictionary agrees: "decrease in size"=definition of Wane
^^coulda been better with some wording n shit..but it...5/10
OK..flow n structure was ite.But you had a lot of fat jokes in there..all becuz he said he was going to lunch.Just cuz he said he was goin to lunch doesn't mean he's fat.If he had posted a pic or something..then it'd be a good personal.U also had self glorifing as well.SG is good for filler or set-up....but not for a punch.that last bar with decrease in size coulda been far better as well.
I smoke any that diss us we get to CLAPPIN-THE-STENCILS I POPING-U-PIMPLES i'll put a "END TO YALL MANUSKRIPTS' by fuckn SNAPING-YALL-PENCIALS
bitch this RAPING-IS-SIMPLE you all out of PLACE u CRAZY-DISGRACE I bust on "YA MOMS WILL TAKE CUMSHOTS" and call her BABY-FACE!!
im DEMANDING-YA-HOES u cant OUTSTAND-ME-YA-KNO? cuz ppl feel frozen (aka Vaskez in the hood ) like they was STANDING-IN-SNOW
leave u bleeding and UNSTABLE-WHEN-GLOCK-HITS- im a don u not ABLE-TO-POP-THIS cuz the flow send off "STATIC" like fucked up CABLE-BOXES
nothing but VENOM-SPITS come out of these LIPS bullets tear flesh intill ya fuckn DENIM-RIPS cuz im fuckn up ya "NERVES" like im giveing the DENTIST-TIPS
death will BEND-YA-LIPS and TENTET-BITCH if ya bitch open her legs ima be "LIKE A ANAL" i'll be IN-THE-SPLITS
OK...first off.That structure was horrible.I mean..damn.Don't write your shit in parahraphs no more.Write it line for line.Not all bunched upp together.I can't break it down line for line due to the structure.And I noticed you had some multis in there..but it didn't help.Multis can do wonders for your flow..if done right..you didn't use it right.Stop with the dashes,qoutations,n capitals as well.That kinda shit ain't neccesary.I also don't recall seeing any dope punches neither.
Vote-Vaskez
RTF BELOW
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=205271