View Single Post
Old 09-11-05, 08:35 AM   #11
DQ
Odi et Amo
 
DQ's Avatar
 
Posts: 3,675
From: Alosta City
IP:

Critic: solid piece but it lacked depth in the last part, I would've loved to see that last part be longer and give the reader more details in fact. The story itself was interesting but the ending didn't provide me with the necessary details actually. The vocab was rather basic, flow was good though. Emotion was strongest aspect, clearly stating how the relationship and situation developed, the cause and such, only the ending was bit rushed I think. It was no real imagery piece but you had some okay pictures in there.

Mystic Chaos: nice piece even though the division into different parts annoyed me at first because every part was only 4 lines or so, I didn't think that was necessary but anyway. The story itself kept the reader focused because you added the right amount of suspense to it yet made sure the emotion and depth of the drop didn't suffer because of it. The vocabulary was rather basic too but it expresses a sort of helplessness, that's at least how I feel. Flow was good, emotion was pure and imagery was definitely there.

Vote: Mystic Chaos for a more touching piece in fact
__________________


Authentik Intelligence





...The future is mine...

Send a message via AIM to DQ Send a message via MSN to DQ Send a message via Yahoo to DQ