lol, this forum isnt like it used to be. fuckin' dead now.
Anyways, feedback:
Paranoid: I enjoyed the read and I only saw two problems that stood out to me. One, your vocab seemed lacking to me, could try and up that a bit maybe. & Two, the flow was ok, BUT it could have been alot better. More multies meta's would have been cool. You got your point across, but it didnt jump across, it just walked.
Sin: I felt yours had more flow to it, even if the structure wasnt as good. My favoright lines were:
Forced to vision my own affliction, through the eyes see diseased reflections
Kaleidoscopic death in segments, a second chance at resurrection
You had decent vocab and multies and the imagery was great.
All-in-all: A few things could have been done better, but hey, no one seems to be reading it anyways, right? (lol, jk)
Sorry you guys keep getting the cold shoulder, it sucks. I hate that bitch...
Anyways, nice collab, AGAIN! Keep that shit up! Peace.
-Mentalz