Thread: "Pandora's Box"
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Old 09-27-05, 05:48 PM   #8
Mentalz
The Topical Juggernaut
 
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From: The Write Side of The Brain
IP:

I dont know about all that Will

Atty this piece was dope as fuck. This line stood out just for the sheer imagery it produced for me:

"A Tear frees itself from a Shell and Screams on its way down."

You have some nice fuckin' lines all around in this piece man, good job. I liked the plot in this, the scheme was pretty good too.

Overall the emotion pierced my mind the most. Dope.

Of course there are a few areas you could improve on, but if you were so dope as to drop the perfect piece day in and day out you wouldnt be dropping it on RV's forums, you'd be signing autographs. Haha. If anything i'd say work on focusing on specific ideas instead of using such a broad landscape. When you have to many subjects in such a short piece, your skill gets skewed and it doesnt come across as well as it COULD HAVE.

Nice job fams. Stay up.
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