Not bad GL.
I didnt so much like the structure, more puncrtuation to create more flow for the reader would have been great. The rhyme scheme was some-what basic, though you did have a few complex parts in there.
Now for the ups.
Very impressive imagery for what you dropped, though you know it could have been better bro.
Your flow was only hindered by the fact that you wrote it and we didnt... meaning I dont know how you read it yourself, again, puncuation to portray that man.
This piece is actually better than most of yours that i've read in the past. Keep it up, the staircase never ends.
Peace.