ok here it is,

first off i like how you structured it, it let me feel your expression and flow more.
You had some good emotion that i felt subltley, you should try and express it a bit more to your fullest extent dont hold back.
your imagery..wow probally your best feature in this piece, with the wonderfull storyline showing your ant-government anti-stereotype, i feel you incorporated everthing needed.

overall: 8/10 man keep it up and keep droppin i like this.

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A LIFE OF CHRYME