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Old 11-16-05, 04:16 PM   #1
Sick.
Do Re Mi
 
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Societys Reaper

IP: 99F3 A9AB

i try too hard.. to please those i see fit to be pleased
in a world wishing ever so much to be perfect...
why do so many imperfections follow with my every step?
i am your china doll.. you dress me up the way you see fit
you make me talk the way you talk.. and walk the path you took
im forced to conform to society for the sake of acceptance
why do these material needs plague our lives with goals
to be rich, to be succesful, when success is just but ones opinion
an opinion that ones life is fulfilled to its optimum level
who has the right to inform you when your life is finished.. but the reaper.

when a childs born.. hes already trained to follow orders..
hes tied to a string and made a puppet for his parents
baby say this, baby say that... until the age of 2 less than twenty
when "the man" says its time for baby to find his own food..
hes given a suite and a tie.. and forced to carry a briefcase around
this is his life.. a collegiate uniformity of wich we must abide
until one day this mans briefcase is dropped, as he falls to his knees
because he was told to die....
who has the right to inform you when your life is finished.. but the reaper.

a man who steals to live.. a woman who steals to feed baby..
thrown in jail and forced to conform to prison rules laid down by warden.
"officer" gave them the right to remain silent..
but silence leads to guilt and guilty they were convicted.
"your honor" says death, and death they shall receive...
told its time to eat, time to walk, time to die...
forced to walk the green mile, strapped down and told to give up...
voltage ripping through their organs as they fight for life...
because they realize... only the reapers decides when its time to die..
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Old 11-16-05, 04:19 PM   #2
Sick.
Do Re Mi
 
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Old 11-16-05, 04:27 PM   #3
13th.
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Text Record: 14-4
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Nice Drop

Some good vocab but could be better.Emotion was a bit blah you should have gone into more deph but still was good.Imagery was good i like the whole topic ya did!
Lines maybe a bit long but i really like it!

Keep It Up!

rtf on this please http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=214659
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Old 11-16-05, 08:21 PM   #4
G Deuce
Artist, that simple
 
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wow, shout out to da Reapers in the hood, GRIM REAPA!!!!!!!!!!

tight drop.
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Old 11-17-05, 03:36 PM   #5
Sick.
Do Re Mi
 
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thanks man appreciate the feed.. MK i posted some feed on your om
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Old 11-19-05, 02:25 PM   #6
Dickard.
A Life Of Chryme
 
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ok here it is,

first off i like how you structured it, it let me feel your expression and flow more.
You had some good emotion that i felt subltley, you should try and express it a bit more to your fullest extent dont hold back.
your imagery..wow probally your best feature in this piece, with the wonderfull storyline showing your ant-government anti-stereotype, i feel you incorporated everthing needed.

overall: 8/10 man keep it up and keep droppin i like this.
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Old 11-19-05, 02:34 PM   #7
Sick.
Do Re Mi
 
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ok ok.. appreciate the good feed man.
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