Whats goin' on bro? Nice drop... bit of feed.
Firstly The opener wasnt so bad, except it was read, in my mind, awkwardly... it might have been the 3 bar rhyming, made it feel like you left it unfinished.
Aside from that, your vocab was pretty nice... alittle large, like i'm one to talk heh. People bitch at me all the time for it. But I felt it went with the piece and did it justice.
Your emotion was there, however I think you could have elevated it more vividly through more descriptive words, no what im sayin man?
The flow was sparse, in my eyes. I'm sure the way you rewad it and the way I did is different. As it stands some parts were choppy to me.
Nice concept, not overly done.
Keep the threads pumpin' bro.
RTF in one of my links in my Sig.
Peace.