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Old 12-05-05, 07:50 PM   #9
Vaskez
Insane in the textbrain
 
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ugh, both weak

bit of advice, don't capitalise every word, it's a waste of time and makes you look like a newb. Don't replace s with z unless you need to for wordplay.

Also if a line has more than around 12-13 words it's bound to be stretched unless there's inner rhyming.

I also think Aimez edged it slightly

v/Aimez
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