Your vocab was nice on this piece. Your structure was off and that threw off the lil' flow but all-in-all in came together.

Your emotion was VERY deep but i felt it for the most part. I would have liked a bit more imagery, I had a mental picture goin but not a very descriptive one.

Just work on those things... Other than that... Nice piece man.

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- Chryme Syndicate -

so
- S T F U -