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12-08-05, 04:57 PM | #1 | ||||
Light Weight
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Lost
IP: 20B2 DF4A
As I walk through this barren land, which I once used to call my town
You’ll never catch me smiling anymore, all you’ll see is a frown No hope, no point of life, it appears as if everything I once had is now lost Everything is cris-crossed, and it’s all at my cost Looking at the establishment that I used to call my home I can’t feel any love when I’m standing all alone I sit down and think, I’m constantly reminiscing of my past years And it appears instead of seeing cheers I’m shedding tears Scratch from start and it seems that’s the way things are going ro remain So I go to sleep with a bible and pray to God for a change I’m on a never-ending search for the so-called bright side It’s impossible to obtain so my emotions continually subside Somebody please respond to my vivid cry for help and save me I’ve taken the poverty and debris to a tolerable degree Close my eyes because it’s too painful a sight to view In the blink of an eye, it appears as if my whole life has gone askew Nothing left to live for, life full of emptiness, pain, sorrow, and misery I’m living my life like it’s always a no luck guarantee Loss of all personal positions, but more than that, I no longer have any pride Because this is the result of my life when anger and drugs collide this is old.. just wanted to bring back some of my work
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OptimisticallyGenius |
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12-08-05, 06:41 PM | #2 | ||||
Light Weight
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IP: 20B2 DF4A
comment on this shit uppin
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OptimisticallyGenius |
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12-08-05, 07:06 PM | #3 | ||||
Light Weight
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IP: 20B2 DF4A
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OptimisticallyGenius |
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12-09-05, 10:18 AM | #4 | |||||
All these Dead Presidents
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IP: B3D0 327D
Your vocab was nice on this piece. Your structure was off and that threw off the lil' flow but all-in-all in came together.
Your emotion was VERY deep but i felt it for the most part. I would have liked a bit more imagery, I had a mental picture goin but not a very descriptive one. Just work on those things... Other than that... Nice piece man.
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- Chryme Syndicate - so - S T F U - My Literature
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12-09-05, 07:34 PM | #5 | ||||
Light Weight
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IP: 20B2 DF4A
thanks man cmon lets get some more up on here
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OptimisticallyGenius |
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12-11-05, 08:18 PM | #6 | ||||
Light Weight
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IP: 20B2 DF4A
uppppppppppppppppppppppinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
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OptimisticallyGenius |
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12-11-05, 08:26 PM | #7 | |||||
All these Dead Presidents
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IP: B3D0 327D
ayo, if you can, just go peep my poem... its short and sweet
please and thanks
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- Chryme Syndicate - so - S T F U - My Literature
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12-14-05, 02:59 PM | #8 | ||||
Light Weight
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IP: 20B2 DF4A
last time.. im uppin this shit
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OptimisticallyGenius |
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