God that was long, but I'm glad I read it when I got to the end. This is a very confusing piece, of work, but well thought out and planned. Metaphors and similies were pretty good, flow was good overall. Really good in some places, lacking in others. Only thing that I hated was how you would have bad grammar or wording when you wanted to get a thought across. Next time just add a bar or something, cuz the wording is really iffy in places.

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