Anthony standing in the rain, also pour is his tears.
Heart-broken, cause it has become his worst fear.
He does not believe this but still it is making him tremble.
When he heard the news, his soul was pinch by a needle.
The sky is gray along with that, Anthony feels black hate.
No, it was not fate. God did this! Fuck god the holy great.
Anthony face turned into disgust as he looks at the enemy,
Yeah fuck him too, as the preacher reach conclusion "r.i.p."
"O god no" as he blurts out when the casket slowly lowers,
Under the ground, it goes where in heaven he will sleep forever.

Mia stands holding her sons hand, while her tears,
Roll down her cheeks. Years of being in loved, has disappeared.
It looks like she's bleeding from under her eye lids the way,
The tears smearing her make-up, turning it to blackish-gray.
None of this would have happen if he just shut the fuck up.
Mia weeping with her fake tears, not caring like abusing a pup.
No one has to know but her body knows and it’s eating inside,
Her tears dried and a evil smile displays, but with pride
The sound of her nails going up and down her skin.
No, no the angels has fallen back. The sin will handle this
....Yes the sins.

*Wood Scratch Sounds*...

Anthony slides under his bed sheets, bound tight with emotions.
Tears tasting like salt on his lips as in he has been dipped in ocean.
His foreshadow mind flashes back in memory from weeks ago,
Body jerks and his lips quiver, as his mind goes down memory lane,
Veins popping out, the images changes drastically in his brain.
Eyelids close shut, and he's breathing heavily and he see's Mia,
On top of him groaning and moaning, body moves like the girls in India.
As hearing his own groan, the door bust open and there he stands,
Standing there with shocking eyes and anger from the wring of his hands.
He lunches at him, hands on his throat looking in the eyes of a devil,
Anthony gasping for air and then passed out, before that he heard a loud
......Noise level

OMG! He wakes up from horror revealing dream. His jaws are open,
Damn it I remember now, I was eating cereal during that day. I was poison!
Yeah that was it, I was poison and she told me I did not feel too good,
That is when I laid on her bed.OMG! Mia.Mom…He finally understood.
Still having that repugnance feeling, he slowly walks downstairs and into
The kitchen. There he saw a Knife that so sharp that it can rip anything in two.
Placed it in his hands and he got that urge feeling of...revenge,
A smile on his face wenges, as he walks upstairs knife in hand, Time to avenge.
He stands quietly in front of Mia; his mother door when he suddenly kicked it,
"No where you going!? The poison is gone mom. Now I know.O you Bitch!"

Mia sits silently on her bed, thinking about the tragic she has done.
As the regret of tears rolls down her soft skin cheeks, a ticket in
Her hands. Damn I have to go, that poison will soon wear off,
If I do stay here until that happens the boy, anger might cough.
Suitcase already filled with clothes, but her son is holding her back.
For long years she morn for a child and now she's been plague
With evil insider her vagina. Damn the urge for sex poisoned her,
She couldn't control it no more, ever since after Anthony’s Birth.
Standing up now like she have pride but covered in sucking leeches,
Just sucking the good out of her. Then suddenly a full of dread reaches
Inside her stomach. She heard the sound of mouse’s moving so she thought.
A loud boom erupts the silence and her soul now is full of fear has overwrought.
Fallen on the floor as she looks above, her son "Bitch".The poison has worn off
He reaches for her and she struggles to get up her feet, but it was too late,
Anthony grabbed hold of her stomach. She felt a force of great agony of pain
"Gah!" Mia screams and blood spills out from her mouth. She reaches under the bed,
It was as if she is back in labor again but this time it was more blood has bled.
A box is in her fingertips and she opens hit. Her Palm feeling that silver plate,
Her eye's and image before her started to grow dark. *Boom* from a push of her finger.
...They both lay...dead.

Police has found two dead bodies at this house there you see right behind me One was stabbed and One was shot. The Police say they was both related, investagors don't know the cause of this incident but....

OMG..This wasn't the plan!.

and Who are you?...I'm the husband and the father, the plan was to take them both to jail, omg, I shouldn't never faked my death..O god!


The bold colors are thoughts............

-Leave Links to your OM's and Leave feed-

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mystery Is a Freak!!

ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life.
Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8
ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do.
Smartone Freal:
ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol
Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u
Smartone Freal:
ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol
Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private
ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged*

lol taht shit was wild your shit always has twists lol i had to read it twice lol
there was alot of imagery in that alot of metaphors and personification was killllllllllller i liked the thoughts the best way to keep me entertained ma lol props on this hope u win ur tourney

__________________

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=216695

Thanks for the feed, Uppin. Will get more Links soon.

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mystery Is a Freak!!

ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life.
Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8
ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do.
Smartone Freal:
ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol
Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u
Smartone Freal:
ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol
Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private
ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged*

Oh Fuck Thats Long.

Give me a sec tweety.

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Blow It - Topical

Ok, my first and only annoyance was grammar. Extremely annoying to me. Puncuation wasnt a problem it was spelling. Fix that and this piece improves alot in my eyes.

Secondly, Nice concept, imagery was off the charts, however, I was a LITTLE confused in places... made sense in the end though.

Maybe, since this was so long, like every other paragraph, you could have an intermission for bathroom breaks or pop-corn or something... maybe? Haha.

Nice drop lola. Keep it up and good luck in that tourny. I read it there.

Seriously, fix that grammar and this is golden.

Peace.

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Blow It - Topical

Thanks for the feed mentalz.

http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2570353

Uppin.........

__________________
mystery Is a Freak!!

ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life.
Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8
ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do.
Smartone Freal:
ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol
Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u
Smartone Freal:
ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol
Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private
ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged*

God that was long, but I'm glad I read it when I got to the end. This is a very confusing piece, of work, but well thought out and planned. Metaphors and similies were pretty good, flow was good overall. Really good in some places, lacking in others. Only thing that I hated was how you would have bad grammar or wording when you wanted to get a thought across. Next time just add a bar or something, cuz the wording is really iffy in places.

__________________

Thanks for the feed..........

__________________
mystery Is a Freak!!

ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life.
Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8
ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do.
Smartone Freal:
ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol
Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u
Smartone Freal:
ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol
Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private
ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged*

NIce When I Read The Qoute in Yo Sig It Made me wanna Read This So Thats why i checked it Out Its Tight I Like it a Little long but Very Interesting

RTF in my OM - "Call It Life"

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One Love

*Bridging The Rap*

Stanza Productions *Dem City Boys*

Nice Nice Nice.

You had wonderfull imagery, prob. the best thing about this piece.

You told the story well. You had a very vivid point. I like how u stuck to it, and kept it dope.Your vocabulary was exceptional and on point for this.
Your way to go OMG in your piece shows some emotion but not to the extent that you are capable of doing.
Keep doing your shit. Becuz this was dope 7/10 overall nice twist at the end. good job

Favor Returned

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A LIFE OF CHRYME

The characters are amazing its nice how its told...it does cause confusion but well done overall alot of rv topical heads can't do this

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Thanks for the Feed Everyone...Uppo.....

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mystery Is a Freak!!

ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life.
Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8
ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do.
Smartone Freal:
ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol
Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u
Smartone Freal:
ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol
Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private
ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged*

good drop liked da flow n storyline....a bit long but u kno i cant say shit bout dat cuz my flows b kinda long 2 sumtimes......n e ways nice drop n peep my new drop someday peace

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my new shit peep

Alright Thanks..Uppo.......

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mystery Is a Freak!!

ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life.
Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8
ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do.
Smartone Freal:
ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol
Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u
Smartone Freal:
ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol
Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private
ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged*