Voted For: the_DukE

Wicked One


Look, your trap should shut close, i bust flows...
Penetrate the thin film, u virgin, i even got u bleeding through your fuckin nose..
- Nope...
Don't even attempt threats, your even worse this time around...
Im turnin spars to beatdowns, don't even break sweats when I beat clowns...
- And?
I'm wild but ya'll endorse my style and I'mma do ya'll all a favor and abort this child...
When I put the heat to his face it'll make his mouth brighter than Paul Wall's Smile...
- Ok at least your trying to attack him now
Two-hundred and fifty with muscle, jack, as it still climbs...
Shit, without all the extra weight u couldn't carry anyone of my rhymes...
- NO......
In this battle u still wont make a comeback, u aint nearly that nice...
I mean come on now, were still waiting on jesus christ...
- Could have worded this much better, but its decent
U can't fuck with me, realize you cant do me nada...
Spar with me? bitch please, your only trying to out run lava...
- Not workin
Fuck the drama, your persona's taken enough hits...
I just left this cat covered in one of my day after thanksgiving shits...
- Nah....

Ok, I have no idea if you are new to text battling but I think you may be quite new so in that case keep textin and battlin...you could improve it seems like, but this verse was not too good...some lines were ok but you didn't connect much at all, and need to improve in that department...also your flow was horrible, sort the structure of your verse out and not only will it be much easier to read but it will be more effective...

the_DukE


IP:

this nigga ate cement for breakfast, got him shittin bricks/
rhymes suckin like some parasites verbalizin ticks//
- Ok opener...
make u feel like youz in oz wit my lyrical skills/
sayin "theres no place like home" while ya clickin ya heels//
- no
droppin sticky-icky bombs one hit will make u quit/
got u diagnosed wit cottonmouth, unable to spit//
- Nah
this is it, flap jack flow, bisquick verbals i be flippin/
the outcome got you EARy, now ya too afraid to listen//
- its....ok
i need some toilet paper, cuz im almost done shittin/
walkin off with a victory, makin me greater than britain//
- Could have worded it better but decent
on your knees, kiss my toes and get ready for de-FEET/
wit my words i took your paddle, now you up shits creek//
- Ok...

Your verse was stronger in some areas that others, some good lines and good flow with decent rhyming....maybe some more effective punchlines is what you need

Ok, DukE won this battle in my opinion....stay up both though....

And post an honest vote at my battle
http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=216087

Peace