you prolby need links, but i'll still read

one thing i noticed, with both pieces, was at points you forced rhyming and assonance or whatever; basically some lines sounds funny cause of continual rhyming...but hey, everyone is guilty sometimes....but yeah, just one thing

other than that, i thought this was pretty cool, enjoyable, cause both people had their own unique kinda look at it, and both put forth some stand out lines....which made it more enjoyable....here's what stuck to me

You're gonna die on your own, and its the ultimate justice.
Lust is crying alone, but love is just this....
I wasn't your wife, I was your mistress,
I was never in your life enough to live this,
So now if I excercise suicide, will we be together?
Or will our lives divide, and I chase you alone forever?

and

I shiver a cold fright, Wishing I could turn back time
People outside enjoying freedom, In here I lack mine (my fav in this piece)
See, for what I did Ill be stuck in this prison for years
And my only way of saying sorry, Is by releasing more tears

word up, not bad for being rusty, lmlo....you obviously know what you're doing, so keep up for sure, hit me up if you wanna collab, or something

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