Thread: Tears Of Ink
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Old 02-21-06, 11:26 PM   #13
I Am Unreal.
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I thought this was good...
The only downfall may have been your complexity. I felt that it may have been almost too complex and I found myself getting lost or having to re-read a line or two. The internals and flow were great, like they usually are when you write, I was feeling the ending most:

So I Drop Tears Of Ink As The Days Grow Old And Wither With Time
A Sinner For Love, Lost In The Midst Of Emotion...
......While My Thoughts Drift Behind.

^by far your best lines... also, dont capitalize every single word, its annoying like balls... good work on this piece though.


http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=222930
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