nah, i liked your verse
flowise it was on point, i could picture you spitting that in front of cats and they head bopping, but text rhymes like that come across as simple, most cats look for creative concepts, roger like i said only had that dog line, but thats a good example of a text punchline as opposed to an audio punchline
just come back next week and slay someone, throw some wordplay and personals in there, you'll be fine