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Originally Posted by .Theory.
see i dissed raw kings in a quick keystyle
what a wack bitch..... you a raw king?
your wackness exposes the real thing.
fuck this kid and his fuckin mugshot pics.
only thing on rv you gettin is a post full of dick.
believe the hype man its tru you fuckin suck.
think your ego's blown up.. bt your wack shit still shows up!
i've elavated since last time i was in C.S so wat u say guys am i in?
and also my topical i've wrote recently which i need to add more to it but heres what i got so far.
Imagine the world with no War or death.
or killing someone in there very footsteps.
and only Imagine if the world one day was pleasent.
and for once people followed religion to one day seek heaven.
children with needs imagine what such real life brings.
with all the hate mixed with volient and racial things.
kids are born into gangs and a war over turf.
in gods eyes wasn't this 1 life, 1 love and 1 earth?
imagine no slavery getting beat for something you feel isnt free.
or killing a innocent black man because of his future dreams.
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I wont comment on text, as I dont do it really, and don't want to point you in the wrong direction.
However your topical is fairly basic. I noticed you use an aa/bb rhyme scheme, and that isnt bad but its boring. Your subject matter isnt very appealing either. It isnt very interesting. It flows well, but like I said its very basic. Try adding in a few multies, mixing up the wordplay... dont be so basic.
A few pointers to help you but as it stands I would have to pass on you joining the fams my man.
Peace.