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Old 02-27-03, 01:09 AM   #7
LaRyan Shabaz
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Vote=GetCash

IP:

I thought this was a weak battle, but let's break it down.
I actually thought it was a little too short. Undercooked Beef.
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Darkshells:
-when my steel flash
it will be the perfect definition of quick cash
I'll go first
just to quench my thirst-

These are your strongest bars. This is ALL very SIMPLE.
You know... it's not the worst stuff I've seen here.
But where is the vocab? Throw me a damn punch. Hurt 'em!
When you get to here:

-you want be in your physical form
maybe not in the spirit
because my rhymes is spirit
so I just spit it so you can hear it-

That is straight garbage. It doesn't mean a whole lot, you rhyme the same word, the grammar is just difficult to acknowlege as a fluid whole. The last line is not offensive though.
Just keep working, you seem to understand the need to rhyme and have some flow. Work work work.
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:GetCash:
-ur mommmy gonna be the one cryin in church
cuz ill liquidate u down and sell u to stem cell research-

-im all about the bills snigga ,tryin to get in ur purse ,
so when getcash spit at u , he gonna get reimbursed-

These are good exchanges. Overall I think the flow was all right, I think care was taken to have fairly even bars. Although it stumbles on bar4, the punch makes it worth it. You opened and closed well. The weakest bars were:

-LEMMME TURN MY SHit up rite now so u can hear it
by the way , great move ryhmin spirit wit spirit-

Should have just left it alone man.
The next line is "underdeveloped" although I like its follow, so I won't gripe too loudly.
Overall a solid verse.

Clearly enough to score a solid victory here.