Listening.......
um.. i think this is the hook.... you sound like your downsyndrom... sound like ya not enjoying what your doing at all.
Your adlibs are louder than ya vocals.. same with ya dubs, you have recorded dubs and adlibs on the same track. ussually not a good choice.

from what i can hear in ya lyrics they simple as fuck, allmost sounds free'd its that simple.
personally not feeling it bro.. btu yeh, maybe with more mixing technics it would be better.
stay learning.