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Originally Posted by Tha .Q
I've been reading up on anger, temperaments, and anger management. There is a theory that says venting anger isn't necessarily any healthier than bottling it up. Normally, people will say to find creative ways to "vent" the anger. But, some experts suggest that reliving or dredging up anger to "vent" it has harmful emotional/physiological effects. What some experts recommend is to find creative outlets to basically FORGET the anger and release it rather than express it in the form of venting.
Sounds like semantics...but I def. understand what they mean
Ok...I'm bored...
nuff said
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Why is it so hard to forget about anger? I think the actual method of doing that is what confuses people, since you can't just forget about your feelings at whim. It is not so much forgetting your anger, it's more like evaporating it or taming it.
Try this, and tell me how you go. Think of a person that you dislike, somebody that always causes you grief and pisses you off for whatever reason, think about all the things that they have done to you to make you angry and feel that you are indeed angry with that person. Now try to understand that person. For example, say someone you trusted lied to you and deceived you in some way. You would of course be angry with that person, but think about it and understand them and there is no need to be angry. "They had their reasons to lie to me. It is sad for them that for whatever reason they had to lie, I feel a bit sorry for them, actually... Now they have to live with the guilt of lying (make sure you don't think this in a vengeful way, because that is not the meaning of something like this, just think about it without bias), and if they don't feel any guilt that is even worse. I feel very sorry for a person who cares so little about others, he is causing himself to suffer and doesn't even know any better. In feeling sympathy for this person, I want to help them. What can I do for this person?"
The thing that you can do is forgive them. Then your negative feelings of anger and hatred are completely gone, and all that's left is contentment, love and forgiveness. All very pleasant emotions. You will find that something like this can be applied to any situation, no matter how small or large... You just have to think about it and understand.
There is an old saying: "One who controls his anger when aroused is like a clever driver who controls a fast going carriage; the others are like those who merely hold the reins."
Of course you can be angry at times if you want. It's kind of fun lol. Just so long as you are capable of controlling it and it is just a matter of you letting your anger hang around for a while. I know when my gf cheated on me I was angry and sad for a day or two before I forgave her, just because they are pretty rare emotions and it was kind of cool to have them -_-.