aight look unlike the rest of these cats i'm gonna give you some fuckin feedback. this rhyme needs extreme work you can rhyme a little but that's not enough you need some complexcity in your lyrics in order for some one to like it. one man said up there that you need wordplay and judgin by the way you wrote this you have know idea what wordplay it's takin the sound of one word to make in use of another
example:
I'll TERMINATE All-Sorts-of-Niggas(Arnald Swartzanegger) You know how the fuck i'm talkin about. The key word was Terminate just so you can grab the concept
back to the subject, this rhyme was horrible but it doesn't mean that you can't do better because there is no way you can do worse so just work on the wordplay build up your vocab and throw in some punches otherwise don't post know more shit

odd gives this
1/2 a mic for effort

__________________
shut the fuck up

even if i stutter i'll still sh-sh-shit on you/ pun

dead in middle of little of little italy
little did we know that we riddle
some middle man who didn't do ditally/ pun