what can i say, other than this is extremely dope. I read it less as a song and more as a poem or spoken word piece. The imagery was there the wordplay and flow was nice. The topic is what really shines I like how your story was consistent all the way through the piece you didn't stray for a minute. Now the intro was a little weak and seemed to be..........well........muddled is a good word but other than that you had this on lock good shit man!

Nobodys there, he’s all alone-and-he’s-scared.. the clouds gather in heaps
Rain drops crash at his feet, he’s coughing in spasms to breath
And those actions repeat.. -the vocab in this is nice you also took a little poetic license changing the way the word is said i like that.

Spent 50 grand-on-a-trip-then.. hopped in the car when it was over
But only half of him was sober.. pops-crashed n dropped-fast leavin carlos in a coma
Life’s harder when ya loner.. -drinking and driving tsk tsk. very poignant you showed both cause and effect in here.

attempts slicing his hands from his wrists.. “damn it just clicked…
this here is hell, and I’m trapped in this shit, I saw many signs”
how the fuck could carlos kill himself when he already died?

the last line is the best line it also closed off the piece beautifully, the story was an excellent one. Thank you for the experience.