wit a little more work this could turn into an ill post, u chose an pretty good topic, but u need to make ur structure a little more complex, first i suggest u try and include more multis, but try and elevate some more on ur vocab and wordplay. ur flow weemed to stay on target for most of the post, some of the time it fell off, but for the most part it was good. keep droppin dude, u got ability.

peace....