hmmmm this piece has me thinking, coz im not all sure i know for sure what you are talking or refering about.

it seemed more to be telling a story then venting emotions, which is awsome too, more of like a horror story i suppose

at the beginning the rhyming seemed a bit much but it toned down some after the first few lines, didnt seem as forced.

the flow well i think all the peroids threw me off some, because usualy a peroid is at the end of soemthing, and thats where you stop a sec before you move on, it did work in some places but not all, maybe you intended it that way thou, to try to give it more of a just read throu piece, dunno.

~Tera~
DONT HATE

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