damn at the longness....u wasnt' shitting lol....

nice piece though...not just cuz it's a deep piece...I mean I see those all the time and write them all the time, and I know a lot of kats will blow smoke up ur ass if they read a deep topic they feel bad if they say it's wack....I'm not one of those people...

but seriously this was dope...I actually read the whole thing (which I wasn't planning on doing) u expressed the shit in a really poetic and metaphoric way....u had nice vocabulary and rhymes were pretty nice too...flow was on point..my only problem is that you were a little too vague at some parts and it was hard to feel the true purpose of the piece...since it was u letting ur heart out it seemed like u was keeping the real problems out of the reader's view....which is good to a certain extent...

overall this was good though...please don't take offense to any of my crit/advice cuz all I'm tryna do is give honest feelings instead of bullshit ones that won't help u....

peace

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<center> I.J.L</center>