this piece was ok...the content was nice and you had some quotables (but I can't quote cuz of my stupid ass computer)..your flow was on point too but you seriously need to work on your rhymescheme...because you didn't have multis or even decent rhymes in this...this would be a GREAT poem but in hiphop things are diffrent..like some dude said a long time ago, "It's not what you say, but how you say it" that relates to this piece...you said a lot of meaningful things but I just don't feel like you said them right...the main goal of making ANY hiphop track is to say whatever you want to say but also say it with style...so say what you gotta say or w/e but make sure you're doing it with skill also...other than the weakness in the rhymes the piece was pretty dope....just elevate on that tip and try not to take my criticism as a bad thing

peace

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<center> I.J.L</center>