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This was alright..i thought you could have made it a little longer though....structure wise was ok, try making the lines around the same length so its structured good, cause you had some small ones and some long ones, try for the same length...vocab in this was decent, could be a bit better...the lyrics were pretty good....flow was alright, got off at spots, try adding some multies to it to help that out...but overall this was alright..keep at it.