Voted For: ColdSTEEL

This dude wants 2 own me, he cant be serious
when ya dad fuked ya mom he musta been delerious
^^basic...vocab alone don't make it complex...1/10
I can tell he's a wangsta talkin bout his steel is cold
payin fa bathroom breaks but still don't have a piss-toll (pistol)
^^I see where ya goin...but ya gotta word it better..4/10
Spends his time suckin hella dicks and eatin alotta clits
Its obvious this dudes a FUCKIN BUM now let that be the end of it
^^Weak....2/10

Ok...first and last bars were weak.I think you need to get more complex.The middle bar...piss-toll/pistol is an ite wordplay...but ya gotta word it better.And all your set-ups must be relevant to the punch somehow.Keep working...you'll get there.

Just cuz you look like a gorillah...dont make U tough an sick.
Gay rapper?...He told-
Quote:
Originally Posted by Law_Jr
untouchablekilla......suck my dick!
^^Good personal with quote....5/10
^^Thats proof,but yall still wanna see how he ride?
He a spoof...aint no ganagstah buy tickets jus ta go see B5!
^^Ok...kinda basic....2/10
Talkin bout Loosin rep.......He dont know what he facin!
Takes this "L" back ta "U-N-F" an get sum better Elevation!
^^Ok....4/10
Punches?...I got one that'll leave him flaw'd....an snuff his jaw!
Cuz I aint gotta be Steven segal....................................
................................................."ta be Above This Law!"
^^Ok...this Law bullshit is played as fuck now..

OK...one sided.That first bar was an ite personal...but we all know what he tryna say metaphorically...but it was good.2nd bar was dope...just embarrasing him.3rd was Ok i guess.The last bar messed ya up as it's played.But verses like this is what's needed...comprised of personals that attack.

Vote-Coldsteel
RTF BELOW PLEASE
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=203668