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The Topical Juggernaut
From: The Write Side of The Brain |
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IP:
Guess i'm first.
Quote:
The tall grass...a rolling echo of life itself...
Time...emotion...existense pushed and compelled...
I walk through the field, reminicing my past...
It's tarnished...kinda like the dew on the grass...
I stroll to the tree thats alone standong aloft a misfit...
A dew drop falls from a leaf...so beautifully apocolyptic...
From the time the dew drop starts and hits the soil...
Life can change from happiness to absolute utter turmoil...
Head rushes and flashbacks spiral into my retina vision...
A steady state of repition why do I stand so unforgiven..?
As the dew drops I begin to feel like I was in trouble...
I open my eyes...I'm in the dew drop, trapped in a bubble...
I claw, tear...scream at the transparent walls, Im held back...
Kinda like my life...I'm falling fast, in an unbreakable trap...
All of a sudden Im standing at my grave, not able to be seen...
Tears are everywhere...I wake up, and it was only a dream...
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Man. Dope verse. of the three other verse's, I felt your's had the most twist to it, the best flow and was easily the dopest. Excellant vocab and multies. Really helped you two out.
Quote:
Woke up in the mornin' 91.5 da beat on the alarm clock ringing
Open up my eyes, look out the window at the birds singing
The moisture in the leaves cold feeling in the air from the breeze
The ground is rather damp and I can see the dew drop from trees
Walking around outside the temperature is just a bit nippiley
Stepping out onto the grass its quite wet and slippery
If you keep a clear mind and have your eyes at perfect conentrate
Right before your eyes you will see the dew drops evaporate
Dew drops from the logs in my garden and it is sort of foggy
The dog tracked mud onto the floor n todays newspapers soggy
Come back inside and have a shower, grab something to munch
Open up my refrigerator quickly throw together a lunch
Time to go to school, walk around to my bus stop location
I take my seat cant see out the window from the condensation
I get off the bus learn my education, figure out my career
The sun starts rising, now the 'dew drops' slowly disappear
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Firstly, I didnt care for your flow. The lack of punctuation really sucked and made the read less intriguing. However you did have a nice concept and well thought out piece all together.
Overall, you two dropped well, nicely done. 
Quote:
"The Bad"
Vision locked out the window, reflection shows marijuanas effects....
On the phone with my love, mind gone off, mumbling takes over my dialect...
Hours fly by as if the clock were being thrown in my direction...
Temperatures change as times goes on, my mood goes to intrigue from affection...
Box of Sominex opened, bottle cap popped but the bottle appears empty...
Her words keep me awake and angry, I downed 12 when 3 would have been plenty...
Not an ounce of drowsiness, intoxication got me wired like caffeine...
Watch as dry night air becomes moist morning aroma, its the most unique thing i've ever seen...
5 AM hits and news broadcast says its a cool 69 degrees w/ a mild breeze...
Morning symphony as cars creep past and harmony of birds chyming in the trees...
Being stoned has led me to realize one of lifes amazing features that behold...
Stare around, eyes half wide, all is dry except the grass is sparkling bold...
Leafe peddles bent down overweighted by dozens of water drops...
Appears as resemblance of past showers, but no moisture to be found on street tops...
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Both your verse were long, which forces you to come harder in order to keep the dynamic flow and scheme on point. You didnt do a bad job of it. I didnt care for the lack of punctuation and felt you had a few spots where you could have thrown a conjunction in there to make the line come across more... finished. Your concept wasnt really anything mind boggling, but it wasnt bad. Nice multies. Nice job man.
Quote:
"The Good"
Bed Wet With Sweat Seems As If I've Awakin Just Before Meeting The Ground,
The Light Damaging My Eyes Visulizing The Surrounding As Im Peaking Around,
Strike The Alarm Clock Time Catchin The Corner Of My Eye And To My Suprise,
It Was Noon Get Up Turn On A Cartoon Its Amazing How My Life Has Not Dealed Out Lies
Cant Touch On Last Night And For Some Odd Reason It Seems To Not To Matter to Me
Open The Front Door, Look At All The People That Know There Poor, That, Im Glad To See
Perfect Circles Of Water Layin On Leaves And Dirt God's Metaphor Showin Use He Sees us Hurt
He's Sayin The Good Is On The Great And Bad, This Makes Me Glad Cause I Believe Its Worth
Dieing For The Oppertunity To Rest In Heaven i Feel For The Kids That Felt Death At Seven
Kids Walkin Appearin As Clones, With No Homes One Sin Away From Bein Kept From Heaven
So I Say No Matter The Drama In Your Day Dont Try To Get Away Face It Like A Man
Just Be Yourself And If Needed Ask For Help be Like Me I Just Be Me I Never Fake Who I Am
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Your flow was on point, however your lack of punctuation made it hard to read. Nice use of multies. Your concept would have sucked had you two not medled it together so well. As it stands though, I think im feelin' the other drop more. :|
Quote:
"Together"
Its Humoris How You Never See Them Fallin But They Alwas Appear
On The Ground Never Makin A Sound But Still There Alwas There
This day to day change but yet always appears to be the same...
This never fails to perplex me in the fullest, and will be forever scared to my brain..
One Said Do Whats Right The Other Said Do What You Want Who's Stopin You
And All These Completly Oppisite Lifes Have Been Caught In A Drop Of Dew
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Loved this little ending, nice ass flow and perfect ending to the piece.
Overall, I think you guys both came hard, they just came a little better. LE won this for his team in my eyes.
VOTE: LE & GK
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Blow It - Topical
-=Respect List=-
Crhyme Sindicate
The unexamined life is not worth living.
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