Those lines were a bitch to read, try to shorten them up, make them line up a bit more for simplicity's sake.

Vocab: could be improved a bit.

Multies: always like seein multies, try to drop a few next time, it makes the piece come across more creative.

Flow: Fixing your structure and rhyme scheme will help this out in the future.

If you want to elevate try battling people, or just keep droppin' in OM and heeding the feedback. Keep spittin man. Peace.

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Blow It - Topical