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12-31-03, 01:37 AM | #1 | |||
Fuck You, I Rhyme Better
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[WK9] 17 ILLunatic (0-0) 18 DªÖ (0-0)
IP: 6CDC 921F
Topic: Lethargic
Verses Due: Jan 9 Voting Ends: Jan 12 |
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12-31-03, 02:01 AM | #2 | |||
Eye Designs
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IP: 912C 6ED8
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............................... ............................... .......Checkin In........ ............................... ............................... ............................... -Voted On- High Class v.s K.Largo
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:: Eye Designs:: Taking Request for the following... Signatures, Avatars, Album covers, & Website Banners Last edited by ILLunatic : 01-03-04 at 11:22 PM. |
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01-01-04, 09:28 PM | #3 | |||
Eye Designs
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IP: 007B 9EED
....Lethargic....
....Beginning.... Born an only child, and has never had a friend Loner he's been known, from beginning to end Parents never cared, let alone acted as if he exist Lazy he persist, never lifted a pinky from each fist Dropped out of school, just to sit around the house Knows no spouse, whole life best friends been a mouse Has no education, nothing has always been main consintration Sittin on his ass, see's but doesn't comprehend a constellation .....Grown Up...... A man whose life is a mess, full of stress ...He wants things done, but does it less He has a list of things to do, and its full to But when he's about to do it, things fold through Its bull to, people can't stand his laziness Its craziness, his style's got him ladyless Its sad, just to watch what this man does Gets a buzz, his whole life lethargic he was Living off his parents, He's never done any work Its bizzurk, this man couldn't even be a store clerk Never done a thing for himself in his life Suicide in mind but to lazy to pick up a knife Poor mental state, his life increases the bordum rate Now on his own cuz parents can't afford him as of late ........The End.......... Lazy... and can't understand his Lethargicness Let alone, he can't comprehend his Retartedness Finally gets up to leave, not knowing real life Walkin the streets, not knowing his strife Suddenly, Got capped 7 times from behind Thinkin he'll be fine, he takes his last breath of time Dead, not even knowing the meaning of car sick He has his self to blame, due to his being Lethargic
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:: Eye Designs:: Taking Request for the following... Signatures, Avatars, Album covers, & Website Banners Last edited by ILLunatic : 01-01-04 at 11:08 PM. |
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01-02-04, 08:16 AM | #4 | |||||
This is my first post!
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IP: 5373 CFB4
check in.
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<center> <img src="http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=9076&stc=1"</img> <A Href="http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=111987">t</a> We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office Aesop. |
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01-02-04, 08:44 AM | #5 | |||||
This is my first post!
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IP: 5373 CFB4
Rules of a Lonely Life
a glance in Gods Perspective, Gods Love is Waisted.. I once Thought of a way to win then knew i was baited.. by life.. Im Never movin cuz to the world Im lazy but to me Im Holy.. Dreams as a little boy dreamt of a man that once told me.. I am the one the beggining i am the dopest rapper thoughts.. Was never unique, allways the middle, never realest brought.. Shit was crazy how the hell can my dreams be promised but not baught.. Reasons of A stupid man a worker of satan common like sands.. in the earliest years active but hells got me through idle hands.. Im cloaked, masked to the world as dead as a shirt.. Im worn out, constantly tried to wash out the dirt.. Why dont u go out and party i mean you should know the spots.. What she got was a grunt, she knew till the day i moved out.. Only thing i could do right, now that i left my school hall behind.. Why dont u join the army son Its Gods soldiers fightin muts.. God wouldnt endorse fighting if he knew navy boys beat me up.. Cross roads to me mean nothing because they hung up.. Ring Ring Ring, but this phones never gonna pick up.. All i want to do is Shut the fuck up results of a fucked past.. They brush it off because they never took it up the ass.. They were allways the rapist in my child hood mass.. As if i was a prison bitch, life wanted to fuck me to bad.. I gave up the fight for good once or twice now i learned.. why fight with fire when in the end u end up getting burnt.. sitting in the darkness has become my habitat.. i put myself in this dark room to be never spat at.. Like a dieing mc the last thing i see is my habitat.. I put my mask back on and continue with my straps..
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<center> <img src="http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=9076&stc=1"</img> <A Href="http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=111987">t</a> We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office Aesop. |
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01-03-04, 12:13 AM | #6 | |||
A King Missing a Queen...
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IP: 8D7B 43DF
DaO
I wasnt really feeling where you took this topic. You had decent vocab, and decent wordplay. But the structure was lacking, and the flow was off at some points. It was straight, but nothing that really carried my inthusiasm through the whole rap. I think if you added more emotion into this and shortend your lines... Then it would be alot better. But keep elevating hommie... -ILLunatic- I liked your verse to be honest. I already was up there, but I really did like it. You had good structure, and a nice little flow going. You had good vocab, and alright wordplay. I liked how you carried the topic to a certain extent, but not all the way. Nice drop for a first time here... And keep Elevating... -Vote-ILLunatic Conclusion He gets my vote for the better story line. DaO had imagery, but I like reading little stories instead. It was a good right from my perspective. It was a close call to be honest... ( Both of you please return the favor, even if you didnt get the vote. it would be much appriciated... )
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Sig created by "Tha Sick One..." CRHYME SINDICATE Open Mic Drops -Defying The Odds- Higher Thinking League Record 2-0 High Class vs Tweety ( semifinals match) Last edited by High Class : 01-03-04 at 12:23 AM. |
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01-03-04, 12:18 AM | #7 | ||||||
wanna play doctor????????
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IP: EEE7 9777
Dao deffinately had this
he had better imagry in his piece and the content was there Illunatic... that was kinda lame... ya need to elevate some... Knows no spouse, whole life best friends been a mouse ^lines like that you said you tried to be creative... but it was...wack vote=Dao |
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01-04-04, 12:41 AM | #8 | |||||||
..Soft Focus..
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IP: CE0C B4D7
Great Battle
DoA Had Great Imagery A Lot Of Good Creative Lines. You Could Really Understand The Whole Piece Not Just Certian Aspects. Good Piece. Ill Also Had A Good Piece, But Not As Complex I Don't Think. It Was A Nice Read But Not As Amusing To Read. I Enjoyed The Set Up But I Felt Sometimes It Was Hard To Really Feel For. Also Certian Lines Brought This Down. I Expected More. But Good Attempt. Vote: DoA Great Battle But DoA I Feel Came Strong On This Topic.
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Open Mics The Weathers Art http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673 My Teenage Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850 Secluded http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851 Open Your Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461 |
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01-09-04, 07:22 PM | #9 | ||||
Banned: Permanent
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IP: C7DE B209
Dao takes this
it was ight on both parts.. elevation is key but that all comes in due time. Illunatic i know hasn't written many topicals.. n' unfortunetly it shows. Dao kinda possess more for his lyrics v/ Dao |
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01-09-04, 07:37 PM | #10 | |||||||
ShO-Nuff. Fuckers
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IP: C1DA C961
I'll have to go against the grain,.
I enjoyed Ill verse better to me it was just better written other guys flow was off at certain points which threw me completely off..good story but on pure enjoiment I'll have to go with Ill.. v/ILl
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MerK SquAd. <center><img src=http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=8889&stc=1></center> |
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01-11-04, 01:35 PM | #11 | |||||||
1E
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IP: 5AF5 5CA5
i gotta go with DªÖ on this.... i liked the approach he took... the flow was a bit choppy,, with the syllables.... i jus felt that the execution of the topic was better.... Ill had the better structure and flow... but the content, wasnt as good... so my vote goes=DªÖ.....pZ...
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01-11-04, 02:33 PM | #12 | |||
Fern Gully
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IP: 91C2 8530
close battle....
good drops by both... Ill - you had a enjoyable story about this poor guy who just doesnt do anythign with his life... flow and structure was very good - sometimes there were lines which were kinda jus fillers - but then there were lines that really got me - like suicide on the mind but to lazy to pick up the knife thats a great line - some good irony in this peice DaO :: i really felt your peice - there was a great sense of personal ties to the peice ... i love how you put in in your tense ("I") ... some great liens througout the peice - structure was a little off in parts but overall a great way off attacking the topic vote : Da0
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Knum-Sayins??? Keepin It Real Dumb
The Creation
We Dont Need A Fuckin Crew Forum! Kost
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01-12-04, 07:07 PM | #13 | |||
...
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IP: A9A7 727D
Dao wins.
[closed]
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Life isn't a bitch... she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis |
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