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11-18-04, 02:43 PM | #1 | ||||
FuCk YoU I RhYme BeTtEr
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PayDay is back with a lil something..."Erruptions" give me feedback...~1~
IP: DE1C 607B
(Hook) 2x
I’m Last emcee stand-in, taking chains Chronic flowin rhymes throughout ya veins Killing you wit my ill chillin verbs Brand-in ya ass wit eva lasting words Verse 1 its respect we gain in this game// For one ounce of fame// Writing rhymes that flow like magma// My volcanic tongue violently spits// While Smoking herbs// pumpin my blood in reverse// Possessing a dangerous thirst// Its got me Flyin high on Dracula’s curse// Layin in a hearse I’m forever cursed// I’m immortally writin ill chillin verses// While yellin “Fuck You Bitches”// Punchlines itch at my throat// My gears got me churnin to learn// My thoughts bubble and burn// To the hospital I will send you rushin// My blistering words are gush-in// It’s the future so look past// To the future through clear glass// Eye sights cloudy with a large brain// Staying higher than a 747 jet plane// So be quick to think duckin the knuckles buck// Fists violently swinging, screamin out OH FUCK// With Bloody rains in the air weak eyes calmly stare// Sirens in the midst lights glowing, and the bright lights glare// And I’m givin a fuck for luck// Steppin to this will get you stuck// like Muddy knees you’re the roots of the tree// Buzzin words like there are 1,000 bee’z// But see, theres to many fees// To many bullets flyin in threes// To many Playin copy cat like it was tha past// Thinking it’s cool to let autos blast// But you can’t really fuck wit me// I carry more toys than “Toys R’ Us”// And they aint plastic --- but I zap like static// I will leave you dead and erratic in a dark ass attic// (Hook) 2x I’m Last emcee stand-in, taking chains Chronic flowin rhymes throughout ya veins Killing you wit my ill chillin verbs Brand-in ya ass wit eva lasting words Verse 2 Whose as ghetto as me// With the words I speak so freely// Got me praying to god religiously// With no one else I can trust but me// The more I talk the more I cuss// With greater chance to hear a gun bust// I aint no pussy and that you can trust// My words are lethal next to lust// And I know you see me rappin// With a beat while my feet is tappin// With my hunger and pain so insane// The look in my eyes proves I aint playin// And you think I am full of it// I am out there making it// Making my cash, without sellin stash// Not worrying about who finishes last// Im JonJon I was built to last// That guy you fear at flags half staff// That sharp pain in your ass// The stain ya get when you don’t wipe ya ass// (Im the shit) LOL And I’m going to be here forever// The mind I poses is oh so clever// I keep it full of knowledge on life// Keeping it gangsta wit trillion cut ice// my thoughts copy to the papers lines// Writing the pain throughout the years// Explaining why I have so many tears// To the many-many piers that I have// Keep ya head up, and never give up// Life is too short to hold back// You got to get them paper stacks// This goes out to everyone struggling// That is a lil something i did a while back, that i didnt realize i had wrote...give me some feedback...tell me wat i need to work on...wat u like...rate me...do watever, juss give feedback...and i will return...~1~
__________________
"I didnt choose this life, this life chose me" EveryDay Its the same old song, and the feeling is always gone
.:THE JURY:. HONOR and RESPECT |
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11-18-04, 02:44 PM | #2 | ||||
FuCk YoU I RhYme BeTtEr
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IP: DE1C 607B
Uppin for that feedback...HOLLA
__________________
"I didnt choose this life, this life chose me" EveryDay Its the same old song, and the feeling is always gone
.:THE JURY:. HONOR and RESPECT |
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11-18-04, 02:55 PM | #3 | |||||
Banned: Cheating
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IP: B8E6 E6CB
this shit was tite...i liked it...i give it a 8.5/10...keep droppin yo...
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11-18-04, 02:59 PM | #4 | ||||
FuCk YoU I RhYme BeTtEr
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IP: DE1C 607B
thanks for tha feedback homie...still uppin for more...~1~
__________________
"I didnt choose this life, this life chose me" EveryDay Its the same old song, and the feeling is always gone
.:THE JURY:. HONOR and RESPECT |
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11-18-04, 03:05 PM | #5 | |||||
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IP: 28AD 5545
this was not bad, welcome back PayDay............................................ . u need to up ur vocab slightly, but the flow was straight... good job.
pz..
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11-18-04, 04:50 PM | #6 | |||||||
***cITYSLICka***
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IP: E31B AA42
Flow Was Tight.feelin' This Drop............8.5/10 Keep Em Comin'
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I'm like CHUCKy dyin' to live in the flesh free of the BATTERY, ASSAULT n ROBBERY rapidly,wishin' cupid would clap at me N lift this evil spell so I can experience happilly evil backwards-see(down there) EVIL............backwards =............LIVE |
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11-18-04, 05:33 PM | #7 | ||||
FuCk YoU I RhYme BeTtEr
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IP: 0F56 6B9E
thanks lady fiya, and grandz for tha feedback...good look...still uppin for feedback...~1~
__________________
"I didnt choose this life, this life chose me" EveryDay Its the same old song, and the feeling is always gone
.:THE JURY:. HONOR and RESPECT |
||||
11-18-04, 08:57 PM | #8 | ||||
FuCk YoU I RhYme BeTtEr
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IP: 3873 8F77
UPPIN for some feedback...i will return the favor...~1~
__________________
"I didnt choose this life, this life chose me" EveryDay Its the same old song, and the feeling is always gone
.:THE JURY:. HONOR and RESPECT |
||||
11-18-04, 08:59 PM | #9 | ||||||||
mess with me get cooked
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IP: 2DCB A815
my boi is backkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk kkkkkkkkkkk
__________________
THE SLEEP & THE DREAM- Quote:
SEE THAT EMPIRE WERD~! P.S.A COMING SOON-GODS BETRAYL OUT NOW-THE SLEEP & THE DREAM |
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11-18-04, 09:14 PM | #10 | ||||
FuCk YoU I RhYme BeTtEr
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IP: 3873 8F77
Oh Yea Mayn...i Am Back...a Little Wiser, Stronger, And Sucka Free...holla At Me Dogg...~1~
__________________
"I didnt choose this life, this life chose me" EveryDay Its the same old song, and the feeling is always gone
.:THE JURY:. HONOR and RESPECT |
||||
11-18-04, 09:39 PM | #11 | ||||||||
mess with me get cooked
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IP: 2DCB A815
Enough Said Drop An Try Out I Know What U Can Do Mayne
But I Wanna See That "stronger" Word Put That Shit In Play Homie
__________________
THE SLEEP & THE DREAM- Quote:
SEE THAT EMPIRE WERD~! P.S.A COMING SOON-GODS BETRAYL OUT NOW-THE SLEEP & THE DREAM |
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11-19-04, 05:32 PM | #12 | ||||
Sam Dope
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IP: AB1B E7C4
Wow...no doubt a nice piece...really feelin this new style of yours...really nice dawg...holla at me so we can get a collab or sumthin goin on...aight homie...nice shit...1
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11-19-04, 05:59 PM | #13 | ||||||
Whys That?
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IP: 5285 DC82
nice drop. Try stretching your line's out a bit more. You have some nice rhyme's in this, but I feel they could be a bit more tech.
good drop.keep them coming return the feed http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=161070 |
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11-20-04, 10:57 AM | #14 | ||||
FuCk YoU I RhYme BeTtEr
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IP: 999E 328C
thanks for tha feedback MAGIK and fi-del...and ure right fi-del...i started to record this shit, and it isnt flowing on beat right...it needs more words in each bar...i am workin on that right now...still uppin yalll...i will return tha favor...~1~
__________________
"I didnt choose this life, this life chose me" EveryDay Its the same old song, and the feeling is always gone
.:THE JURY:. HONOR and RESPECT |
||||
11-21-04, 12:06 AM | #15 | ||||
FuCk YoU I RhYme BeTtEr
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IP: 0F56 6B9E
upppin peeps...let me know wat yall think
__________________
"I didnt choose this life, this life chose me" EveryDay Its the same old song, and the feeling is always gone
.:THE JURY:. HONOR and RESPECT |
||||
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