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01-10-05, 04:57 PM | #1 | |||||||
..Rv Sucks..
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You Let This Die
IP: 408D D2A2
You Let This Die
you came into my world and i had gotten inspired to live you inspired to give you my all and i even had you at my crib we now reminisce about how we never see one another i missed you on a daily basis so thoughts began to hover do i love her? or is this just somthing thats to good to be true just a new beginin now cuz that spark began to fade, i lose i got abused emotions floatin around inside of my head girl my world's swirled and coastin outa control it spins and twirls i have misunderstood thoughts of how your more hurt than me can we stay together? na cuz you never tried or made plans see the entrancing times begin to fade dig up dirt for this mans grave i evade you cuz i begin to die inside when our looks had strayed into one anothers direction but i was tired of giving you exceptions your perceptions of me huggin on other girls was my only inperfection i was directed that it wasnt a deal but now ya say the wounds wont heal i feel so bad but you also had to steal my heart in the time of an appeal real love? nope you yeild from showing your lust when im around pounding heart beats is the only sound this silence is a key now see how that were not escalatin in this relationship anymore why? cuz you never tried, forever lied, and because........you let this die
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01-10-05, 08:32 PM | #2 | |||||
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IP: 74E2 4E7B
i must say first off your flow was nice, it stood out right away.. i like how you took a different approach in the situation, kinda blaming the other person say you did this, and this is why.. the tone was almost angry and disturbed.. especially from these selected lines:
i have misunderstood thoughts of how your more hurt than me can we stay together? na cuz you never tried or made plans see ...... all in all this was a creative poem.. i don't recommend you change up anything.. keep doing what you doing, DROP some more poetry lol.. stay up, aight..
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01-10-05, 09:40 PM | #3 | |||||||
Banned: Cheating
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IP: 8A1A D0A3
the flow was good through, liked the topic and the way u described it
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01-12-05, 12:01 AM | #4 | |||||||
..Rv Sucks..
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IP: 408D D2A2
thanks peeps.....yea.....i wrote this cuz thats the reasons why i broke up wit my ex............cuz well just read the last line..........lol.....but yeah ill write more poetry......and i kinda rushed to finish this poem too......so yeah......but lady fiya........i think we should do a poetry collab......cuz thatd be tight........and u know i been wantin too for a while......holla @ me pm about it.....or aim-daw87.....thanks ma
upppin for some more feed....leave links and ill leave feed
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01-12-05, 05:35 PM | #5 | |||||||
..Rv Sucks..
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IP: 408D D2A2
uppity up up up
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01-13-05, 03:42 PM | #6 | |||||||
..Rv Sucks..
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IP: 408D D2A2
up up up up up..........leave links and ill rtf
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01-13-05, 11:03 PM | #7 | ||||
Knock out kings fur life
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IP: 23A8 883C
hey it had good structure and good vocab and kind of good imagry str8 poems home.
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01-14-05, 01:29 AM | #8 | ||||||
Whys That?
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IP: AA11 D51C
hey yo this is a good peice.
I know nothing about poetry so i can comment to much. But i enjoyed reading this. |
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01-14-05, 11:00 PM | #9 | |||||||
..Rv Sucks..
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IP: 408D D2A2
thanks fam's and fi-del you know who i be..........so get at me on aim and ill give you pointers
uppin for more feed...
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01-15-05, 11:04 PM | #10 | |||||||
..Rv Sucks..
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IP: 408D D2A2
up up up up up....
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01-16-05, 08:52 AM | #11 | ||||
Odi et Amo
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IP: 4EA4 53F1
Omg...can you read my mind or something? Because I could totally relate with everything you stated. This was straight hotness spit from the core. Vocab, structure n flow were tight and you worded everything in a very vivid way. Definately enjoyed reading this drop...good job man!
DQ
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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01-16-05, 06:53 PM | #12 | |||||||
..Rv Sucks..
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IP: 408D D2A2
thanks ma...no problem.......this actually was personal feelings and most of my poetry is........so yeah its not too out of the blue tha you can relate to what i dropped.....thanks for the feed....leave links and ill rtf........
uppin
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01-17-05, 12:50 AM | #13 | |||||||
New to RV
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IP: 3D13 9FAC
solid drop... kinda heart felt seems like iv'e wrote ish like that. Neway at first i kinda thought your use of vocab was a little weak but the further i read the better this peice got. Your flow was solid never really fell off, i guess i can say it was a nice peice to read, and you stuck on topic so ima have to give you a 6/10.
nice drop, stay up... Peace...
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-Diversity- ...â€-exâ€-... eternity
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01-17-05, 01:36 AM | #14 | ||||||||
..Rv Sucks..
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IP: 408D D2A2
thanks man........appreciate the feed....is that an alias.....cuz u said
Quote:
uppin for more feed.....leave links and ill return it
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01-17-05, 02:16 AM | #15 | |||||||
New to RV
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IP: 3D13 9FAC
naw im new to this site... had this name for awhile, used to go to 411 i had another name... Frequency, ionno i've been doing this ish a looonnnggg time.... but nope im not an alias.
Keep droppin Peace...
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-Diversity- ...â€-exâ€-... eternity
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