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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
04-18-05, 02:02 PM
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#1
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in your system
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Unexpected Presence
IP: 9E2F CDE8
meh, i wrote this for VE, didn't think it was that good, just want to see what others think.....i approached the topic alot differently....so yeah, leave some feed yo
Unexpected Presence
an empty mind, deaf and blind, eroded from years of abuse hiding in shadows, dwelling in darkness, cant face the truth everlasting youth, the world itself is a harsh teacher greed, hate, power, this place is home to evil creatures gazing at the ceiling, emotionally torn, confused feelings mentally worn, lost thoughts, soul in need of healing so many choices to make, yet none seem appealing stuck in a twisted game, and the devil is dealing pain and misery are handed, constantly feeling abandoned life took off fine.............. but now it crash landed it hits hard, you lose guard, foolish thoughts of immunity fall to the temptaion of violence, due to a broken community spiraling downward, times get tough and you just get sick sick of living a life where everyone treats you like shit you just want to quit, slit ya writs, even hang yourself but you gotta admit, theres more to life than money and wealth even if you only have your health, you can still be grateful someones always looking out, even if you aint that faithful no killing, all you need be is willing, willing to believe too many deny being naive, and yet too arrogant to percieve their minds decieve, leaving their thoughts clouded and dazed they have no soul to sell because they werent religiously raised? reasoning is crazed, the fact youre breathing should be embraced think before trying to erase, why waste something you cant replace got to keep strong, its wrong thinking you need to kick the chair dont be shook, if you know how to look, there are people who care an unexpected presence, always there to help you rise above could be a spiritual essence, or the one you forever loved to pull you in, rather than shoved, always have a hand to loan life is worth living, because in it...... we're never truly alone http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=186728
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this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE Last edited by Kesse : 04-18-05 at 04:35 PM. |
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04-18-05, 02:46 PM
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#2
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Light Weight
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IP: C27A 825D
Wow, like, I cannot say I know exactly how you felt/feel when you wrote this. But it's like, just makes me think. Like, I dont know how to respond because i cannot trace where these thoughts are coming from..
I LIKE THAT! Keep writing and everything looks great to me.. what is VE? Yo, check out my "WHAT, ask me now what im in TC" I have a link under my sig.. I couldn't think of a name.. so it's something like that! Sweft
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<img src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y103/sweft/tc46tg.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"> <BR> <img src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y103/sweft/joseph7qs.gif" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"> |
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04-18-05, 02:49 PM
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#3
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in your system
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IP: 9E2F CDE8
^ haha, yes....VE is the topical tourny...other guy didn't show, so i wanted some feedback...truth is, i kinda just wrote this, as it is.....to all those people who think they have it soo bad.....when some have it worse but are living just fine.....word, thanks, i'll check that out
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this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
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04-18-05, 03:34 PM
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#4
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Peace, Love, Unity
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IP: AB23 98FF
yeah, that was nasty... very emotional and good vocab. and what not, i was listening to Kashmir by Led Zepplin and it went good with it, lol... but it was good man, keep it up
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 88 miles per hour should do it. |
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04-18-05, 05:46 PM
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#5
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Light Weight
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IP: 342A DA98
this really should be gettin more feed back though! (LoL)
Sweft
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<img src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y103/sweft/tc46tg.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"> <BR> <img src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y103/sweft/joseph7qs.gif" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"> |
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04-18-05, 07:11 PM
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#6
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in your system
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IP: 9E2F CDE8
no shit eh....its just a curse i have....all my stuff gets slept on
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this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
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04-18-05, 07:14 PM
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#7
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Light Weight
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IP: 342A DA98
Quote:
If that ever happens to me Ill be hella mad! (LoL) post it in PS.. i get more feed back in their.. way more.. Sweft
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<img src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y103/sweft/tc46tg.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"> <BR> <img src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y103/sweft/joseph7qs.gif" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"> |
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04-18-05, 11:02 PM
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#8
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in your system
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IP: 9E2F CDE8
yeah man, i hear ya, uppin you bastards
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this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
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04-18-05, 11:13 PM
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#9
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Peace, Love, Unity
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IP: AB23 98FF
reutrn the favor on Get Back by bloodhound and streetryda if you'd like
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88 miles per hour should do it. |
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04-19-05, 12:04 AM
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#10
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in your system
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IP: 7C6D 1B8D
^ i'll take a look when i get on my good comp
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this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
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04-19-05, 08:13 AM
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#11
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in your system
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IP: 9E2F CDE8
^ what he said.
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this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
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04-19-05, 08:39 AM
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#12
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Black Poet
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IP: 2041 AFC0
Sup fam really deep verse I was feeling thing, you had deep emotion,..
nice vocab and very good flow. Stay up fam 1~ |
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04-19-05, 05:51 PM
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#13
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in your system
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IP: 9E2F CDE8
appreciate it
.....i'll check out yours in a bit
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this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
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04-19-05, 10:58 PM
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#14
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Divine Ascension
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IP: C6CF ADE7
coo.. i liked this. a lil differnt but thats what i like... coulda used more metas but it was stil good. deep as well. keep doin u
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 -Transcending The Heavens- I am before before... Before death is eternity, After death is eternity. There is no death, only eternity. And I be riding the wings of eternity...  ___________________________________________  3 Poems.:.3 Features.:.3 Weeks Consecutively I'm a Bad Man |
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04-20-05, 05:59 PM
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#15
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in your system
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IP: 9E2F CDE8
word, uppin....
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this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
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