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View Poll Results: Who won this battle? | |||
Twizzle Stix | 0 | 0% | |
deacon | 5 | 100.00% | |
Voters: 5. You may not vote on this poll |
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12-03-03, 02:31 PM | #1 | |||||||
I Am The Light
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Deacon ~vs~ Twizzle Stix
IP: CB2E 7CE0
Topic: A love relationship...taken a chance
Im sick of dark subjects figured we'd polish our love sinks...feel me.. -1- due date: friday good luck mayne
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SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next? sacred scriptures record (5-0) Last edited by deacon : 12-03-03 at 03:11 PM. |
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12-03-03, 05:20 PM | #2 | |||||||
-Merk Squad-
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IP: 9B91 D0C6
I dig......lol
In. ............................................... ............................................... Last edited by Dadi Kewl : 12-03-03 at 05:57 PM. |
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12-04-03, 12:23 PM | #3 | |||||||
I Am The Light
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IP: CB2E 7CE0
~The essence of my love~
Next to her every second blurrs the pallet in my mind I tried to paint her face with words but the colors aren’t defined The lines they all connect from the start to the end. We started as friends but now all my heart strings are stretched Across the canvas and what my thoughts imagine maybe ought to happen The two of us hand in hand holdin on to all the passion Never touched and when I think of it makes my hands sweet starts to flood the river beds of my finger prints Im sinking in pass the depths of skin her inner beauty is a testament I need scuba gear to catch my breath again. Cause ive been swimmin in a blood stream worrying When the sands of time will flooder past and bring our current in. With purple lips from the temperature Im knowing id be better off if I cuddled next to her. The time I spend with her is never satisfying From long walks to star gazin at an empty sky that’s flyin Shuttered my eyes tight and lettin no light in So nothing perverts an image in my closed eyelids My mind is dominated by her presence im sold by her essence ~is it fate~ Regret is worse than I ever imagined Cause underneath the night sky my wish had never been granted My chance to advance is diminishing fast The whole evening seems like a minute had past A blanket, a night, wrapped around the two of us tight And I held back all my urges when the mood was just right And the moon set the light and the wind played a tune Afraid its too soon for me to be making a move When the truth fairs all I really wanted was her lips Pressed against mine revitalized by a kiss Im looking forward to our days together Im never pressuring her but second guessin if we’re fated together Because I waited forever and now it seems im still waitin To give her what she wants god I hope she stays patient ~Takin the chance~ So now im sick of takin all this time to be sure So I’ll put it on the line but first remind her its pure. Im shaping more than just my fate in my hands Without being sure I should respond in takin a chance
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SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next? sacred scriptures record (5-0) Last edited by deacon : 12-05-03 at 08:35 PM. |
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12-05-03, 08:25 PM | #4 | |||||||
-Merk Squad-
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IP: DF7B C8F7
i'm really lost with the topic...i dunno why..so i'm just using love
as a loose basis for the piece...if you dont mind. We speak of magic moments of love with deep devotion and always there's a battle to reach the limits of emotion. The reader just has to feel every pulse of our pain as we tell our lovers lie: we'll not go that way again. We speak of rainbow colors as we beam our rays of love and to show how deep it is we point at the skies above. Stars are but a blink away; rivers are filled with dew. To show the strength of it we'll move a mountain or two. We speak so clearly of dreams like cameras from our eyes and the photos which develop are so easy to visualize. None other but we could recall such dreams as to make a wish be true or life bigger than it seems. We speak of tears and fears days and years, luck and bust. Romance and tragedy visits even upon the best of us. As poets, we speak of love but show only tiny parts of what lingers in our souls and deep within our hearts. There's always feelings left we have yet to express but being poets who know it we create amongst the best. Little else comes even close or that fits like a hand in a glove not much can satisfy the psyche as when "Poets Speak of Love". |
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12-05-03, 09:43 PM | #5 | |||
A King Missing a Queen...
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IP: 8D7B 43DF
Even though I dont think I can vote, here is my opinion...
Opener - Stix ( how it flowed ) Vocab - Deacon Allusions - Deacon Imagery - Deacon Rhyme Scheme - Tie ( both where simple ) Metaphores - Deacon Synonyms - Deacon Flow - Deacon Attention Graber - Deacon ( nice read ) Emotion - Deacon Topic - Deacon Closer - Deacon Vote - Deacon ...UPPIN THIS... -I think you should have PM'd him to be sure what the topic was. But he just had it all around pretty much. Both were good, but deacon just rained over on this one. With the emotion in it........... OUT -High Class a.k.a Confusion
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12-06-03, 08:14 AM | #6 | |||||||
-Merk Squad-
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IP: DF7B C8F7
^Thanx
I myself believe deacon got this...but can i get some feedback oh and be aware my piece is a poetry piece...written on the topic of love.. Deacon was cool with this. Uppin for votes and feedback plz. |
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12-06-03, 12:02 PM | #7 | |||||||
fuCKYou
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IP: 1B3B C284
Sorry Lib but deacon got this
He had the better verse....told the story well, looks like he felt the topic and had good flow Vote Deac |
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12-06-03, 12:25 PM | #8 | |||||||
I Am The Light
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IP: A3C1 DD51
umm thanks uppin for responses./.................................................. .................................................. .........................
-1-
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SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next? sacred scriptures record (5-0) |
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12-08-03, 11:06 AM | #9 | |||||||
I Am The Light
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IP: CB2E 7CE0
um uppin on this everyone...........
.................................................. .................................................. ...... -1-
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SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next? sacred scriptures record (5-0) |
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12-08-03, 04:57 PM | #10 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: C1DA C961
well, maybe its cuz i just suck at topical but i liked twizzles more.. deacons rhyming was a little shaky, yet i felt his topic. i dont like long reads though. im gonna go with twizzle sticks this time. nice topicaling from both though. to be fair i only read half of both, i really just couldnt stay focused.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=96961 |
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12-08-03, 06:21 PM | #11 | |||||||
I Am The Light
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IP: CB2E 7CE0
hmmm so vote doesnt count.....hahha maybe thats why he didnt post....
.................................................. .................................................. .... -1-
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SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next? sacred scriptures record (5-0) |
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12-09-03, 01:28 PM | #12 | |||
Fuck You, I Rhyme Better
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IP: A507 4A55
the breakdown....
deacon... You really went head first into the topic and the content showed... but... your flow was off a few time... 1 or 2 syllabuls over is ok but some lines went 3 or more over starts to flood the river beds of my finger prints Im sinking in pass the depths of skin her inner beauty is a testament the approach was good, i personally like topic flips more but this one didnt allow it...good piece Twizz... Abstract! Your rhyme scheme was very consistent so it had a nice flow...i think you should have done more than an A A B A because later on that pattern did fall off... the content was good, but imagry was what did it for me here vote - deacon...consistency p.s. Stix, try and flip the topic next time... or choose a topic that can be apporached anyway...this one was pretty straight forward |
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12-09-03, 06:18 PM | #13 | |||||||
Banned
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IP: 94D8 F2A7
Come on know,we all know
who got this game rap up in the bag from his flow, meta's and punches???????? Vote= Deacon My bad I can't vote yet but When I do It is going to be somthing nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good battle from both Emcee's. >>>>>>>>>>>PEACE TO THE MIDDLE EAST>>>>>>>>>>> |
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12-12-03, 12:36 PM | #14 | |||||||
[.Eclipse.]
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IP: 90A0 94DE
I have to say I think deacon got this.
Twizzle u know I aint got no beef with u so my vote is valid. We're both in Wits End I was just feelin Deacons piece more. peace -1-
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12-12-03, 04:58 PM | #15 | |||||||
I Am The Light
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IP: CB2E 7CE0
thanks for the votes everyone if we could get some more so this thread could be closed ....woooow that would be great
-1-
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SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next? sacred scriptures record (5-0) |
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