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09-13-06, 12:15 AM | #1 | |||||
in your system
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Life Inside a Bottle
IP: 9E2F CDE8
just free-lanced it, i'll post links in a a few min
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post3076768 where do dreams begin...and where do they end pending you remember anything at all right from the start, till the moment you fall all walls stand still...motionless the thrill of success exits down the spine but the mind is ill; it finds comfort in hopelessness there's no failure with no effort survival of the fittest, when we're all dying just a small gesture... no pressure, life inside a bottle like a page missing from a novel support begins to hobble, crippled not knowing it it'll ever balance out you pace yourself, away from doubt but you've crafted a palace a callous indifference, but passive suffering enlightens the darkest corners life inside a bottle; empathy to apathy, apathy to being emotion is noble... but not within reason night becomes day, when yesterday follows its a hollow gospel... ....life inside a bottle
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this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE Last edited by Germ : 09-13-06 at 12:20 AM. |
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09-13-06, 05:27 AM | #2 | |||||
A Reflection Of The Past
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IP: 80EF 45DD
wow really not bad at all....its good to see new faces in the poetic scriptures forum doing there thing and coming up...i see mad potential bruh, decent imagery in this thats the only thing u really need to work on alot, the emotion was good, a nice structure, the concept wasnt played to much..although used a couple times but ifelt u ececuted this read pretty well....decent stuff peace
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Crhyme Sindicate
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09-14-06, 11:07 PM | #3 | |||||
in your system
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IP: 9E2F CDE8
thanks val, pretty much didn't spend alot of time on it, just wrote it up, trying to get the feel back
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this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
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