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Pleas, Not the teeth...!!
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Inpureities
IP: D9BE 0615
As i Walk Freely over dirty terraine,Im gettin stabbed by Used old Needles//
Syringes peel back the skin of my feet,The babies Scream like Culled baby seals// A system designed to take back what we earn,Is it rbbery,No-its TAX// Therapists Ask always how we feel, "Im OK!",the governments on ya back// Wage more for war that we all dissagree,silent night bombs take the homes of peasents// No home to sleep in they serge for food, their father killed for stealin pheasent// Laws dont concure to be left un-aided,wre branded thieves wen though shalt not steal// But how we ment to take on a meal. Come on Tony Blaire, act up. Be real// These dangerd species we call fine people, are all cut down, shared out to minoritys// Periodicly were makin moves, to stoppin our nation discriminating stereotypically// re-animated to be taken for gruanted,these antics crowned are the ones to be given// if were a problem for Britain my leader,why is it at birth u let us poor ones be living// my thoughts are strong now for instance im ressurecting,the late,the fallen TuPac// So i can rebel against comercial Bitches,and i can pop him, and send his ass back// im not the one who cares all about me, i mean im never the kind for security// I like to think of my self as an Outkast, the kind who point out his planets Impurities....... *All diffirent things that we call Impure... All diffirent things that we can call Clean... Are devided up into two diffirent Tiers... One is real life and the other a Dream..* |
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Word.
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IP: 9C1E 2B43
You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback to or this will get closed, Thanks.
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Pleas, Not the teeth...!!
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IP: D9BE 0615
Ur Welcome
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Pleas, Not the teeth...!!
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IP: D9BE 0615
Tecnician
Too Easy Dialekts |
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Pleas, Not the teeth...!!
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IP: 05D7 7A05
Uppin....
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Pleas, Not the teeth...!!
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IP: 5D1A 98F6
Uppin Part 2
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Guest
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IP: 1FDF 4BFE
That had a very decent flow, and some good meta's and shit. The topic is awesome, and the scheme is good. work on some more complicated rhymes thats all i can say as crit, if it is crit.
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Pleas, Not the teeth...!!
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IP: 5D1A 98F6
lol...Thanx...And its E Z breh...!!
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Guest
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IP: C1DA C961
Good Good Flow, And Meta And Rhyme Scheme Were Pretty Sick...Vocabulary Was Good Too...
8.33/10 return the favor....Peep "DRINK LIQUOR FROM A CHALICE" |
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Pleas, Not the teeth...!!
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IP: 5D1A 98F6
Aight thanx bro
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Guest
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IP: 8920 92C7
vocab and ideas in here were strong although some multis wouldve helped the flow of this, the bar length was a little too long as well, although i like the revolutionary raps which people seem to have forgotten about.
a notch above what i usually read i here, good work. p.s: s.r. if youre gonna rate a rhyme out of ten, why the hell do you keep using decimels? the whole POINT of rating someone out of ten is to use a whole number! |
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Pleas, Not the teeth...!!
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IP: EBF7 21D3
LOL @ decimals....
Im glad some1 relises the bar length..Its not something im trying so hard to do, but i thought about it, and decided to jus chek it out.....The multies and internal rhymin is somethin im sick of doing at the mo....So i decided to have change....Make it just a message verse or whateva... thanx all the same |
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BANNED
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IP: DF7B C8F7
your alright man,youve got good vocab but your topics are abit too deep for people to relate to and understand, dont get me wrong though it makes sense
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Pleas, Not the teeth...!!
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IP: 3354 DAC6
Thanx for ur Oppinion Mate..!!
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Guest
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IP: D2D9 E42F
yea this was soild... keep it comin
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