Its a constant battle wit kids gettin rattled cause they tattled,
Bitches get dismantled in shambles like butcha knifes ta cattle,
Against odds gotta do the act of god and climb higher in the ladder,
Sorry for being aggressive wit ya head, but I require it ta splatter,
Higher again but not from the drugs in the mufucking game a life,
Fuck wit me get yo ass served then Ill go home n train ya wife,
Its unlikely youll fight me I tightly rap like subways mighty god, (wrap)
You got beef means ya really got no teeth and ya slightly odd,
I always end up fightin them cause they'll leave a bite-in-you,
Thats the bitch way n Ill break mothafuckas like right in two,
Its like they gotta sightless view when they look at the big-picture,
But Ill fuckin mock them all when I finally look at their signature,
A mixture of violence and catastrophe wit people constantly dying,
Supposed thugs see slugs n want hugs and they honestly crying,
Trying to get layed but theres only some slut thats probably thirty four,
Whats tha life ya livin when the only pussy comes from a dirty whore?

Damn.

You had a good flow, and your structure was good as well. I think it would be good to work on your vocabulary. Kind of extend it a little more, cause it seemed a little childish in the begining. You had an ok rhyme scheme, ive seen it befor. But thats not a big deal at all... Just try and be more creative, you know what I mean hommie. It was an okay drop, but it could use some work... Aight, I hope this can help you out a little bit...

( Please return the favor and peep " My Thoughts Pt.2 " in my sig and tell me what you think about it. It would be much appriciated, please return the favor )

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Uppin for some feedback...........................

Pretty weak to me. I mean the style is there but your subject content could use some major work. Overall though, aiiight.

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Rev 12:11 - Use your voice...

Your flow was good...seemed like you were just throwing a few of those words into the sentence so that it sounds nice...
The concept was something which has been done by all

This was alright here man.....structure was pretty good in this.....you had some nice multies in your lines, i liked that, i like multies ....the flow in this was pretty nice as well, it flowed good, it stayed on.....the content was alright i thought....keep at it man.

It flowed an it had structure but the vocab cud do wid sum work.

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