this wasn't meant to be anything spectacular...just a short poem i wrote last night while i was sittin doin nothin'. gimme some feedback...an while u at it...read my other one...old mans memory of a silent midnight suicide.
here it is:

Lucinda Lee

Lucinda Lee was a beautiful lady
who lived in her midnight mansion
by the sea.

No woman in all the world could
touch the beauty of Lucinda Lee.

There was just one thing keepin her
from me. She was married you see.

It wasn't fair that he married Lucinda Lee
and I was alone; cold and lonely.

To get rid of him there was one way only.
While all slept, quietly into their room I
crept. With one hand I drained of his life
till there was none left.

As his body splashed into the waves, I'm
happy because finally Lucinda Lee will
spend all of her days with me.

For weeks they searched for his body till
one day it drifted to land from he shallows
of the sea.

So I was hung from the gallows because I
loved Lucinda Lee.

__________________
__________________

Very Interesting, Good Imagery, Simple Rhyme Scheme, Kept me interested tho, the flow was pretty nice, the vocab was simple, Structure was good. Nice drop, look forward to seeing more from you,
keep droppin

peace

thnx...

__________________
__________________

it was like a short story, a very short story. for how long it was i felt there was the basic detail and good content. it was interesting but i think its a piece that could be built on, expanded in a way perhaps. but it was a nice read.

~Tera~
DONT HATE

__________________

right bout there i'm considerin maybe addin somethin bout the guy insuring that she WILL marry him if he is to get rid of her husband.

__________________
__________________

hahaha..damn that was funi..that was nice...easy feel to it the flow of the story kept me interested...it was reelie goode...but he reelie should have buried the body...it might not have been found...-shi-

__________________
...do tell...

Every lil boi is born shi......their ignorance makes them bold......

simply put"...wise words whisperd to deaf ears as no one hears the blurred proverbs that're always spoken clear so i fuckin swear that my where wont be here as time tolls..." second verse of 'Elevate' written by -shi-

thanks...nemore?

__________________
__________________

...why is it my poems always get slept on...

__________________
__________________

this is a nice one n it duz seem lyk a reel short story, i liked it to it was interestin 2 read thru a cupl times cuz the imagry alters itself ina way............return tha favor

__________________