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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
02-03-04, 08:20 PM
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#1
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Straight Savage.
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Valentines Is more Than a Day
IP: 8BEC CACE
I have feelings, Stuck inside me like The Rising Population
I don't how to let them out, Or even Drop a decent Interpretation You never gave up on me, Even when I had seem to lose my Force You Pushed me Forward, When My Legs no longer gave on Support Your Amazing, The words that can't describe, How You Really Seem A Picture's Worth A thousand Words, But Your Words are infinite To Me Im hoping You Really Read This, And Discover That I do Really Love Words Can't Describe All The Feelings, I'm Really Thinking Of.. Look in a Dictionary, Thesaurus, And I Still Won't Find The Right Things I'd Buy You a Ring, And Show You Gratitude, For The Happiness You Bring I look in the Mirror, But I can't See how Beauty Could Really Love Me Im Just a Scrappy Kid from the Bronx, While'st You define all terms of Lovely If there was a way I could Completely write My Thoughts, You know I would I try to treat You Right, But I try too Hard, And I don't Treat You like I should So On Valentines, Im giving myself to You, To show You My Gratitude.. Your Attitude has always amazed me, And Thats What I love about You Im making up all the mistakes I made, Getting Up after All Of My Falls.. I'll pay for The check..Since I haven't filled My bill, As Far as I can Recall I don't have the money, But I'm feeling above wealthy In Love.. I'm Dreaming Of, All the dreams Fulfilled With You.. Look At What Cupid's Arrow Really Does.. February 14th, 2003 The Night..When The Bullet Struck You, And The Cupids Arrow Struck Me...
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Only God can judge me, Who THE FUCK IS YOU?! |
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02-03-04, 08:42 PM
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#2
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Flyweight
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IP: 4855 FEF9
damn...last line hit deep...nice suprise ending...dope flow...nice vocab...nice scheme....sick piece...hope to see more
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The only defintion that matters...  Word Definate N Slik Shadow Vs. PROOF N Teflon NO SHOW BITCHES : Hit_Man  #
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02-03-04, 08:55 PM
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#3
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Straight Savage.
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IP: 8BEC CACE
Thanky You
__________________
Only God can judge me, Who THE FUCK IS YOU?! |
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02-03-04, 08:57 PM
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#4
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Banned: Spamming
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IP: 399E F0FD
Hmmm~~~nice work skiddz~~~~although V-day is still days away..this piece made me reailze I need to do something special for my girl..this was very very~nice~~~I like stuff like this...^^
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02-03-04, 09:15 PM
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#5
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Straight Savage.
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IP: 8BEC CACE
Muchos Gracias Senor..
I do it for the Fans!!
__________________
Only God can judge me, Who THE FUCK IS YOU?! |
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02-03-04, 10:32 PM
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#6
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...
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IP: A9A7 727D
I really like your style. everyone puts so much emphasis on exceeding internal rhyming and multies and sex with gophers and riding in golf carts so that you can be cooler than the kids with no format. but you kinda disrehard all of that and just flow on your own. I've always thought your bars were a bit long though.
As for the content....I was thinking "this is a stupid cheesy love piece. fucka love" and then I cought the ending. I was quite happy with that. You had a "pictures worth a thousand words" line. Everyone has those, shie away from them, cause you might bite without even knowing it. It's ridiculous. You had a fairly decent flow, and some nice wordplay in there. Your writers voice was pretty good too, if cheesy. Good work =)
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Life isn't a bitch... she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis |
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