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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
01-18-04, 06:07 PM
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#1
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Limitation
IP: FF53 66D0
I can write a billion words, but none would be adequate to describe her.
I should sing a million songs, but not a one would take note of the longing. I could raise a thousand tophats but the morning wouldn't express the truth. I will dance a hundred steps but not one of them will be in the right direction. I can't drink a ounce more, she loves me to the core. Tells me lies as it slides down my throat I emote pride. I won't ever love again, she keeps me in her head. All that keeps me sane when the river starts to bend. Last edited by Walter Wall : 01-18-04 at 07:06 PM. |
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01-18-04, 06:42 PM
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#2
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Sharp Perfection.
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IP: 4427 B15C
thats creepy 666 posts lol
anywho the piece short and simple. structure and vocab were simple, but it was nice that way. your imangenary was great thou, a topic of lost love done again, but you kept it interesting and real. it seemed natural and showed its emotion. it was a nice read. ~Tera~ DONT HATE
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R.I.P to my lost girl
~ Nyla ~ keep singing in heaven |
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01-18-04, 09:23 PM
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#3
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Guest
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IP: FF53 66D0
lol, Im at 666 posts and your at 420..............dope
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01-22-04, 01:08 PM
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#4
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Guest
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IP: 7A52 73B1
upp'n for feedback
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01-22-04, 07:34 PM
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#5
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..Soft Focus..
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IP: 1B3B C284
This was short...but your lines were good.
I liked the emotion in each..and the words you chose to show feeling Basic in some parts but dvanced in others...which made it easy to understand Good drop. I enjoyed it.
__________________
Open Mics The Weathers Art http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673 My Teenage Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850 Secluded http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851 Open Your Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461 |
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01-29-04, 06:46 PM
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#6
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Guest
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IP: 3236 2EB1
..............gracias
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01-29-04, 07:50 PM
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#7
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That's Right...I'm White
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IP: 575C 1A8B
short.... but i liked the emotion on each line, vocab was pretty simple but the words still helped with the emotion, Structure was good....keep droppin
peace |
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01-30-04, 10:05 PM
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#8
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Flyweight
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IP: E530 5D47
I liked The Vocab No Doubt.Structure Was Great You Got Everything On Lock.Emotional Thats Pretty Hard To Poemize About. keep On Poemizing GL.
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ReKorD WinS 0 LossEs 1 Ko'S 1 K'Oed |
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01-31-04, 02:32 PM
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#9
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shawty"B"
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IP: 4577 CD9A
short... but sweet, nise structure and it was reel, keep it up
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<img src=http://img43.photobucket.com/albums/v133/thanodia/shawty.gif>
JUST TRY AND STOP ME !! ........Shangri La........ |
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01-31-04, 02:57 PM
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#10
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Guest
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IP: EC0B 84C7
A Thousnad Hearts Beat 2 Tha Youngbloodz New Debut Nah Lil Suckas It Aint 2002.this Is 2003 And Im Feelin Simply Angry That Shawty B Gave In Her Poem So Soon Hey Ma Give It A Second Go And Dont Think So U Can Be Focused Aighht Yeah I Know Im Tight.
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02-05-04, 06:31 PM
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#11
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Guest
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IP: 3236 2EB1
^wtf?
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02-05-04, 10:37 PM
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#12
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Flyweight
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IP: 74A8 E5C9
^ THATS WHAT IM TRYING TO FIND OUT
but to the point... this piece was short and simple, like said above, it's a topic i've read and written numerous times but i like your style, you kept me interested, keep writing, nice drop
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~.:Soft Focus:.~ {--Deacon (\_/~\_/) Content --} {-Calisto (\_/~\_/) .:Lady Sage:.-} {--Filed (\_/~\_/) Domain 9--} {-Thrust (\_/~\_/) Know1 (\_/~\_/) Emotion-} { --Rule (\_/~\_/) Mental God--} Poetry Don't Look Into My Eyes Forgotten Understanding Once Again "It requires wisdom to understand wisdom: the music is nothing if the audience is deaf." |
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