RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases > Poetic Scriptures
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 01-24-04, 01:53 PM   #1
Trapt Wit
Fuck You, I'm Iller
 
Trapt Wit's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,561
Joined: Mar 2003
Status: Offline
Text Record: 3-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
Street Lights

IP: 843C 2CD1

Street lights

A night of tossing and turning...
...almost absent of sleep
Nerves upturned knowing in the morning
...he will finally drop to the single knee
.
.
.
.

Morning brings nerves as James tries to perfect the words to say
Hoping her reply will bring forth such an unforgettable day
Cant help but to smile from ear to ear as he pictures the reaction
But the nerves raise his hearbeat to the point he has to push it back in
Prepares for the task at hand trying to look perfect but time crawls
Seems like miles go by trying to get to the ride at the end of the apartment halls
Emotions constantly slip and fall, but in the heart James must be right
Finally reaches the car, checks the mirrors...
... and once again replays those words he has in store for tonight

Praparations fall into place, pictures her face at the sight of the rock
Reflects on the love thats formed from sleepless nights with soulful talk
Almost to the intersection but cars have stopped, on Aurora and Shale
So hurried to call the cell to make a new time, but only got voice mail
Just a slight set back, she must be busy, maybe had to stay late
But no harm done, called Sage, and pushed back our dinner date
"Oh great" James thinks as firetrucks and ambulances rush by
Thinking why today had to be the day idiots tried to drive
Becoming worried, James gets voice mail again, followed by calls to Sage
Its sad how nerves can turn such a minute inconvenience to rage


30 minutes go by and for some reason James' stomach starts to sink
Cell rings, but its not the right tone. Instead the ID reads... Mercy Clinic
So he starts to think, I lost my father last week, did my mother go?
And as the phone approaches his ear James' stomach is now glued to the floor
"Hello" he says with an uneasy tone, hands shaking, almost dropping the phone
"I'm sorry inform you your brother Mark has just been hurt... his car - T-Boned
Tears begin to fall. "Is he ok?, how about the other car?, was anyone with him at all?
"He's already gone sir, and a girl - Carrie is still stuck, frame is still being sawed"

Could it be? Carrie? do they mean mine? It cant be!!! "Whats her last name?"
"Carrie Todd" "Oh god...... No... "Will she live?, Is she in pain?"
"I'm sorry sir, but word just came through, she isnt going to make it"
And at that moment, the realness of the whole stiuation began to hit
Senses overloaded, its like connection not meant to be started to spark
And then the phone drops, James looks up and honestly wishes he were Mark
Its doesnt make sense, but for some reason all the thoughts are in his head
But the one above all is his jealousy of the recently dead

Another 20 minutes, finally traffic begins to move again
But James stays still, fearing where he should have been
Too emotionally drained to put the foot on the gas
Cant believe
...he lost love so shortly after accepting it at last
Thoughts relax, but still knows life will be tough
Especially the thought of not getting to heaven soon enough

Throughout the years been through a bunch
But now is the time for to endure true fights
But its odd how a trip for lunch
Would put his emotions through the cycle of the street's traffic lights
__________________
<center>

Did I Beat You Before?
Yeah, Probably


-An Original RB Member: Yes, We're That Much Better-
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-04, 03:07 PM   #2
Shi
New to RB
 
Shi's Avatar
 
Posts: 64
Joined: Nov 2003
From: ...Tha darkest corner of a lil boi's Mind...
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 399E F0FD

wow...sori but thas all i can say is wow...i mean damn...thas sum shit...wow...and it even rhymed...wow...::speechless::....much much much respect
__________________
...do tell...

Every lil boi is born shi......their ignorance makes them bold......

simply put"...wise words whisperd to deaf ears as no one hears the blurred proverbs that're always spoken clear so i fuckin swear that my where wont be here as time tolls..." second verse of 'Elevate' written by -shi-
Send a message via AIM to Shi   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-04, 03:57 PM   #3
Trapt Wit
Fuck You, I'm Iller
 
Trapt Wit's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,561
Joined: Mar 2003
Status: Offline
Text Record: 3-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 843C 2CD1

Thank you
__________________
<center>

Did I Beat You Before?
Yeah, Probably


-An Original RB Member: Yes, We're That Much Better-
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-04, 06:36 PM   #4
bouncedoggydog
"Cuz bruk said so"
 
bouncedoggydog's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,540
Joined: Jun 2003
From: Los Angeles
Status: Offline
Text Record: 1-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 407B 09C0

Nice read Chrit... It housed much emotion, as I could feel each and every one convey'd through him. Very real,very grasping, yet a nice sutle flow to keep your spirits up with. Great job and I know you had fun doing this, it's one of those peices that seem like it is written without interuption. Like if you just put the pen down and didnt stop till finshed. I liked this alot, so raw, and what a great message to put out thier. Too many are in need of this message.


The structure fucked with my high Dawg, you know how that is...,

Great Job,
~Bounce~
__________________
FUCKA BABYLON BANDIT!!!

Last edited by bouncedoggydog : 01-24-04 at 06:38 PM.
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-04, 10:21 PM   #5
.:LadySage:.
Flyweight
 
.:LadySage:.'s Avatar
 
Posts: 144
Joined: Oct 2003
Status: Offline
IP: 0E35 3C22

OMG... damn damn damn
this was.. I can't even find words to label it
everything was on point, you portrayed the emotion perfectly, kept the flow right, rhyming, deep, you brought me into the story. Real talented need i say the least. This was truly amazing. Keep writin.
__________________
~.:Soft Focus:.~
{--Deacon (\_/~\_/) Content --}
{-Calisto (\_/~\_/) .:Lady Sage:.-}
{--Filed (\_/~\_/) Domain 9--}
{-Thrust (\_/~\_/) Know1 (\_/~\_/) Emotion-}
{ --Rule (\_/~\_/) Mental God--}
Poetry
Don't Look Into My Eyes Forgotten
Understanding
Once Again
"It requires wisdom to understand wisdom:
the music is nothing if the audience is deaf."
Send a message via AIM to .:LadySage:.   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-04, 11:43 PM   #6
Trapt Wit
Fuck You, I'm Iller
 
Trapt Wit's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,561
Joined: Mar 2003
Status: Offline
Text Record: 3-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 843C 2CD1

I love you all....

Maybe thats the alcohol talkin
__________________
<center>

Did I Beat You Before?
Yeah, Probably


-An Original RB Member: Yes, We're That Much Better-
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-25-04, 11:32 AM   #7
FanTa ZeE
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Joined:
Status:
Text Record: 0-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 7A38 2D7B

wow, firstly..i did not know that Trapt Wit was Chrit! how you doing son? now that little chat about record deals all becomes clear! *SLAPS HERSELF* Now that thats over with..coo poem, nice topic and illest emotion..

keep droppin, ignore my stupidity!
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-27-04, 12:07 PM   #8
DaGyrlRemarqabL
..A New Breed of Femcee..
 
DaGyrlRemarqabL's Avatar
 
Posts: 454
Joined: Feb 2002
Status: Offline
Text Record: 3-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 4577 CD9A

Damn..I havent read much from you but this was on point..I knew from the beginning, the tone was just so sweet, happy and promising, that something bad was going to happen..that it was too good to be true...I loved the imagery and the descriptiveness of this man's preparations only adds to the saddness felt in the end..You are a very talented writer, some lines of this I had to read over again because they were that intense.

"Senses overloaded, its like connection not meant to be started to spark
And then the phone drops, James looks up and honestly wishes he were Mark"

"Too emotionally drained to put the foot on the gas
Cant believe
...he lost love so shortly after accepting it at last"

Its so incredible and soooo sad at the same time..I can only hope it was fiction but either way, very captivating writing..Nice job..
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-29-04, 12:59 PM   #9
filed
Sharp Perfection.
 
filed's Avatar
 
Posts: 450
Joined: Dec 2002
From: HELL!!....and yet you think im jokin
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-1
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 4427 B15C

damn, i think this is the first piece i've read from you here, but damn hopefully it wont be the last.this piece was so well built, everything was dead on, emotion, structure, vocab all of it, but mostly the emotion. all the detail and thought in this piece was what made that emotion so strong. you could tell something bad was going to happen, but still there was a twist, with his brother and all. i loved this.

~Tera~
DONT HATE
__________________
R.I.P to my lost girl
~ Nyla ~
keep singing in heaven
Send a message via AIM to filed Send a message via MSN to filed Send a message via Yahoo to filed   Reply With Quote
Old 02-06-04, 02:11 PM   #10
Trapt Wit
Fuck You, I'm Iller
 
Trapt Wit's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,561
Joined: Mar 2003
Status: Offline
Text Record: 3-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: A7DE 777C

Thanks = )
__________________
<center>

Did I Beat You Before?
Yeah, Probably


-An Original RB Member: Yes, We're That Much Better-
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:27 AM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.