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02-08-04, 10:22 PM | #1 | |||||||
Flyweight
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Bored
IP: 9B04 91FE
this was mostly a keystyle
immortal technique remix ive been writting for years, but ive been thinking for all of my life// im scandalis like american soliders comin home, with iraqii knifes /// ive known some sick lyricits, thats had problems with mics// stardum and ice, gots MC's lit up, like harlem in lights/// i dont undertand why, some critics dont like me/// like a 76 year old man at a strip club, thats asked for ID// it might be, that i come off too hard for people not used to reason/// im speakin in tongues that was established from demons// if you had 3 sane phyciatris your couldnt measure this meanin// drying up rappers like fish, in desertis regions/// im a plague that spread all over the place// hard to get rid of, like acne on a teenage that covers his face/// my lips been in more clits then jenna jamesons did/// im sick like a husband that murdered his wife and his kids// spending his life in a bid, jail isnt for me/// if i get caught, its death n glory....foretold in old stories/// i use text to express all of my feelins/// so its passed to generations, from you to your childern/// im not telling people how to live or think about topics/// i just make people aware of lies, conspiracy's and atomic rockets// like the prophet muhhamad, im telling the truth like a politcal comic/// not jew or islamic, in the new, cosimc, version of the blue bahumet/// the news is on it, theyre on anything that viewers would watch/// like a cops beating a minority unconcious,but still wont stop/// so imma give them a story,that will leave them in shock/// people will start crying and fighting, like its the re-birth of Pac/// getting rowdy, girls getting naughty, i "kick" like karate/// so if you fought me in a rain cloud, your still couldnt "drop" me// kats try and mock me, say that im cocky// they think that i copy, until they find out that Immortal Technique taught me
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GangGreen "It aint all about economy///So the fact that all these wack MC's is makin G's dont bother me///Honestly, my number one policy is quality"
Last edited by Unwritten Hazard : 02-10-04 at 11:27 PM. |
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02-10-04, 11:27 PM | #2 | |||||||
Flyweight
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IP: 9B04 91FE
thanks for the feedback, ASSHOLES
__________________
GangGreen "It aint all about economy///So the fact that all these wack MC's is makin G's dont bother me///Honestly, my number one policy is quality"
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02-11-04, 05:13 AM | #3 | |||||||
1E
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IP: 5AF5 5CA5
thougth you had some ok wordplay... an some good vocab, but the flow was quite choppy, some of the transitions could have been smoother, also i would have broke it up, so its not so much of a read.... but not bad.... keep working on it......
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02-11-04, 07:07 AM | #4 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 6F9E F23B
ok wordplay...I agree totally with Dev The Corner Shop Dude with this...lol..
aiight stuff, but choppy and, aiight effort seen as so Ur new to this site |
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02-11-04, 10:47 AM | #5 | |||||||
Flyweight
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IP: C1DA C961
Flow was off at the top but got pretty strong toward the bottom half. Lots of good similes. Vocab was adequate. Pretty nice piece overall. 6.75 Hit my "Broken Metamorphosis" if you can.
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02-11-04, 06:05 PM | #6 | |||||||
Flyweight
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IP: 9B04 91FE
thanks.....................ASSHOLES
rofl lmao lol
__________________
GangGreen "It aint all about economy///So the fact that all these wack MC's is makin G's dont bother me///Honestly, my number one policy is quality"
Last edited by Unwritten Hazard : 02-11-04 at 08:13 PM. |
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02-11-04, 07:28 PM | #7 | |||||||
New to RB
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IP: D268 C765
it was better than me so I can't hate
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Biggie was always better than Pac, ready to die vs tupacolypse now which was better |
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02-11-04, 08:13 PM | #8 | ||||||||
Flyweight
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IP: 9B04 91FE
Quote:
true
__________________
GangGreen "It aint all about economy///So the fact that all these wack MC's is makin G's dont bother me///Honestly, my number one policy is quality"
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